


For he has held a star

by Dr_Fumbles_McStupid, TariCalmcacil



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Discussion of Abortion, Gen, M/M, Medical Examination, Medical Trauma, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-28
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-07-10 19:37:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7003573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid/pseuds/Dr_Fumbles_McStupid, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TariCalmcacil/pseuds/TariCalmcacil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After an extremely unpleasant extended stay with Jenna Zan Arbor, Obi-Wan comes home not exactly feeling himself. Not only does he have to deal with his new condition, but also an emerging bond, and trying to hide his feelings for his Master.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All the kudos to punsbulletsandpointythingsfor the wonderful beta and to my other tumblr friends for encouraging me to actually write something for the first time in years!

Obi-Wan stared in disgust at the files displayed on the screen in front of him. The result of a few weeks of careful slicing and information analysis, his inauspicious first solo mission was quickly becoming a beast of a headache.The odd disappearances were revealed to be outright kidnappings. The results had also raised suspicions, which he carefully coded into his report for the Council, to be sent in his next data-burst tomorrow. It wasn’t that they hadn’t been waiting for her to rear her torturing face since her escape from prison, but Obi-Wan hadn’t expected this mission to Ryloth lead him straight to her.

 

Jenna Zan Arbor.

 

Qui-Gon would call for him to be pulled from this mission or lobby to join him as soon he found out. Obi-Wan shuddered at the memory of the abuse his Master had suffered at her hands, the anguish he had felt as he guided the older man to safety.

 

No, Qui-Gon wasn’t coming anywhere near Ryloth if Obi-Wan could help it.

Mind made up, Obi-Wan saved the report, the hacked files, and his analysis, and added them to those already contained in the pre-prepared data-burst. By the time it sent to the Council in twelve hours, he would hopefully be back from infiltrating the complex he had been monitoring so carefully. The files he needed for solid proof of the kidnappings could not be so easily obtained via remote slicing, but once he had them his mission would be done and a proper team would be sent to deal with the findings.

 

He drew his cloak about him and stepped down the ramp, determined to return in time for breakfast.  
  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

He gained access to the complex by scaling a five meter fence at a hole in the guard perimeter. He inched carefully across the grounds, keeping to the shadows and avoiding dirt where possible. Even if someone were to glimpse him, he would leave no evidence that he was more than a shadow himself. It wasn’t until he picked open the latch on an emergency access door to enter the massive building that took up a significant portion of the grounds that he paused, an odd dread surrounding him.

 

Obi-Wan hated it when the Force sent him bad feelings in the middle of a mission.

 

He pried open the door and clambered through, only to be met with alarm klaxons, and a durasteel plate slamming down over the only way forward. “If they didn’t know I was here before, they certainly do now,” Obi-Wan groused, “I guess I’d better get to work before company finds me.”

 

Obi-Wan took his saber and plunged it into the durasteel plate, laboriously cutting an opening into it. He wasn’t fast enough though. Heavy footsteps echoed in the adjacent corridor, coming towards the door. Just as he finished cutting, the door opened and blaster fire shot through into the room. He dodged the first shot, bringing his lightsaber up in a defensive position. Three large Duros blasted their way into the room, Obi-Wan was a blur of motion as he deflected the heavy fire. He reached out with one hand, and with a mighty Force push, knocked one of the Duros against the far wall. He hit hard and fell to the ground, where he lay unmoving.

 

‘ _One down, two to go. I should finish this quickly before reinforcements arrive.’_

 

Obi-Wan deflected an oncoming shot at the second Duro and rushed the third. His attacker made to fire again, but he raised his hand and grabbed the offending blaster with the Force, yanking it free as he dealt a blow to the Duros’ head with the hilt of his saber. He spun again, parrying more blaster fire from the hallway, and deflecting it back towards its origin. Gathering the Force around him and wary of fighting Duros on two fronts, he sent a massive Force push down the hall, leaving his opponents in a heap and attempting to regain their feet. He took his chance and bolted, using the Force to leap past the pile of struggling bodies and turned the first corner he could find, only to grind to a halt at a searing pain in his abdomen.

 

A Duros with a blaster stood in front of him. Obi-Wan looked down to see that he had been shot. But the Duros would not hesitate to shoot again, so he raised his saber once more as they stared each other down. He heard footsteps behind him and knew that the rest of Zan Arbor’s thugs had caught up as well. He deflected the first shot, and then second, but a third hit him in the shoulder, causing his saber arm to go limp with the pain. He was aware of another shot striking his leg, and then collapsed to the floor,  where he watched a pair of boots approach, before a blow to his temple left him in merciful unconsciousness.  
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

 

Waking up was unpleasant. His shoulder and side throbbed, his leg was on fire,and the pain in his head left him groggy and nauseous.  
  
"You idiots, I told you to bring him to me unharmed!" a woman was screaming, but he wasn’t willing to turn his head towards the noise and identify the yeller.   
  
"The only reason you lot are still alive is because these are flesh wounds! This is the strongest Force sensitive we have managed to capture, and I have a personal interest in him."   
  
Something about the voice was familiar. He was certain he had heard it somewhere before. Wasn't he meant to be on a mission? Was it something to do with that? He shook his head in an attempt to clear it, wincing when all it did was cause a new spike of pain from his temple. It did however suddenly dawn on him that he was probably drugged, the fog in his mind too much for a simple concussion to account for. If he could just focus enough to harness the Force, he could purge the effects from his body and attempt to heal himself enough to escape.   
  
He closed his eyes and fought the vertigo as he was moved up onto a table. Something that felt like straps were stretched across his ankles, chest, and wrists. He fought the urge to struggle, managing to keep still and feign unconsciousness. He needed them to think he was compliant if he was going to escape. The Force was already hard at work purging the chemicals from his body.

 

\---------

  
He was ready; he was clear headed and able to fight. Now he just needed to wait for the right moment. Obi-Wan opened his eyes and pretended to come to. Soon after, footsteps echoed around the room, slowly making their way towards him.   
  
"Well if it isn't my dear old friend, Obi-Wan Kenobi," Jenna Zan Arbor crooned, as she stalked towards him with a sheet of ‘plast in her hands.   
  
Obi-Wan inclined his head. "Zan Arbor. I would say it is a pleasure to see you again, but it really isn't."   
  
Zan Arbor smiled. "You always were the one to mouth off," she said, stepping closer to him. _‘Closer, closer… NOW!’_   
  
Obi-Wan snapped his head forward into Zan Arbor’s nose. As she fell back he harnessed the Force to open his bindings. Obi-Wan bolted off of the bed and used Force-enhanced speed to sprint to the door, but before he could open it, a wave of pain swept over him as he was electrocuted, and he fell to the floor with a gasp.  After the spasms died down he tried to get up, but his body would not obey him.

 

“Did you really think I was that stupid?” Zan Arbor asked, as she walked up to him. He heard the door behind him open and two Duros grabbed him by his arms and pulled him up. “I have state of the art security, and stun guns positioned throughout the room, coded to your DNA.” Zan Arbor grabbed his chin, and turned his head towards the corner where he could indeed see one of the guns. She let go, and the Duros dragged his unresisting body back towards the table. “Now look, you're bleeding again. You’ve exacerabadeted your wound. We’ll need to take care of that,” she said, walking around to the front of the table. “You know, I was hoping we could do this the easy way,” she mused, “I would get much more comprehensive test results, but if you are going to be difficult we can always use this.”

 

Obi-Wan let his head flop towards Zan Arbor as the thugs maneuvered his arms and legs back into the straps. He was shocked by what he saw. A Force Inhibitor. His eyes widened “Where did you get one of those?”

 

“Oh I have all sorts of friends you don’t know about,” she smirked, and placed the collar around his neck.

 

Obi-Wan had to fight back panic. He had been under the influence of inhibitors before, he could do it again. But as the cold metal snapped around his neck, he caught his breath. In that moment it was like he was blinded, a whole sense that gave texture and meaning to the world around him taken away. He forced himself to control his breathing. “You won’t get away with this,” he snarled.

 

Zan Arbor laughed. “I don’t see anyone here trying to stop me.” Then she stepped forward and plunged a needle she was holding into his arm, and all he knew was darkness.

 

\------

 

Qui-Gon looked at his hand of sabacc cards, then up at what Tahl had played. It was clear that she was losing badly. It was strange to think that she hadn’t improved as a sabacc player since they were Padawans themselves.

 

Qui-Gon placed down a card and Tahl scowled. “I think _you_ are cheating,” she accused.

 

Qui-Gon put on a hurt expression. “Tahl, my dearest friend, I don’t know why you besmirch my honor this way.”

 

Tahl snorted, “I know people on the Council. It is a fact that in some of your mission reports you have implied you used the Force to spin luck in your favor to gain extra cash.”

 

Qui-Gon smiled. “Alas you know me too well. But in this case, I am not cheating. _You_ are just terrible at Sabbac.”

 

Tahl sighed and threw her cards down. “Which is why I know something is up. You like a challenge when you play, so clearly you’re just using me as a distraction. What’s bothering you Qui?”

 

Qui-Gon winced. Was he really that transparent? He set his cards down and folded his hands in front of him, looking directly into Tahl’s sightless eyes. “Obi-Wan hasn’t reported in to the Council in over twenty-four hours.”

 

“Oh Qui, there could be tons of reasons why he didn’t report. Remember, on your first solo mission, Dooku was sent to retrieve you because you forgot to transmit your messages for two days,” Tahl said reassuringly.

 

Qui-Gon blushed; that was certainly not one of his finer moments, but with age comes wisdom. “Obi-Wan is usually the one to remind me to check in during a mission, so it is unlikely that he forgot.”

 

“You’re being a mother hen, Qui. Obi-Wan is a capable Padawan, he can take care of himself,” Tahl replied.

 

“If there is one thing we know about Obi-Wan, it is that he is a magnet for trouble,” Qui-Gon said ruefully. Then, more soberly, “Tahl, I have a bad feeling about this.”

 

Tahl turned serious quickly, reaching out to take Qui-Gon’s hand. “Look, go to sleep, and if he doesn’t report back in tomorrow, I’m sure the Council will let you stage a rescue mission.” Tahl smiled. “Just don’t stay up all night worrying about it, okay? Promise me you’ll at least get some sleep.”

 

Qui-Gon grinned. “Now who is being the mother hen?

 

Tahl laughed. “Okay, I see how it is, you stupid barve. Now make me some tea and then go get some sleep.”

 

\-------

 

Just as the sun was rising the next day, Qui-Gon sat himself down to meditate. He closed his eyes, the breathing pattern second nature to him at this point, and let himself sink into a trance. He expanded his awareness, feeling the inhabitants of the Temple, but he wanted to go further than that. He stretched beyond the planet, stretching further than he had ever gone before. He was sweating and shaking, but he was almost there! Just a little more...But where Obi-Wan should be, Qui-Gon couldn’t touch his mind. It was like the bond didn’t exist. He might have thought it was severed, but thanks to that horrible day with Xanatos, he now knew what a severed bond felt like. He pressed harder, but the wall wouldn’t budge. All he got for his efforts was a headache.

 

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and stood up, only to stagger to the side and almost fall back down. He took a deep breath. He would regain his strength, and then he would approach the Council.

 

\-------

 

Obi-Wan opened his eyes and everything was blurry. He squinted to clear his vision, but it didn’t help. A familiar smell assaulted him. He knew that smell…it was bacta.   _‘How did I end up in the Healer’s ward this time,’_ he wondered. It was hard to focus; everything was fuzzy. He was on a mission, right? A mission on Ryloth,  looking for missing persons, then something happened? Then it hit him. Jenna Zan Arbor! She had captured him! He moved his arms sluggishly in an attempt to swim to the top of the bacta tank, but two pairs of hands plunged into the tank, grabbed him, and dragged him up before he could attempt it.

 

He tried to raise his hands to remove the mask, but his arms felt leaden. He brought his hands up again and knocked them against the mask, dislodging it from his face. The two, lab attendants by the look of them, helped him down to the floor. He looked around, trying to take stock of the room for an escape, but everything was spinning too much for him to concentrate.  One attendant held him while the other ran a rough towel over his over-sensitized skin, drying the excess bacta off and Obi-Wan had to fight not to blush when he realized that he was naked.

 

After he was sufficiently dried, the lab attendants grabbed Obi-Wan and lifted him onto a  durasteel gurney. He shivered as he touched the cold metal surface. He tried frantically not to vomit from the movement, but the change in position caused a wave of vertigo. He faded in and out as they wheeled him through the halls. He was still able to keep track of where they were going, memorizing the order of turns as they went. That would make an escape attempt easier.

 

They wheeled him through a set of doors and back into the first room he woke up in. The Duros grabbed him roughly and moved him to the exam bed, and started to buckle the straps around his limbs. Obi-Wan tried to tear his arms out of their grasp, but their hands felt like solid durasteel.

 

He heard the distinct click of shoes, and knew instinctively it was Zan Arbor, even though he couldn’t sense her. She lightly ran her hands over his abdomen. Obi-Wan flinched at the feathery touch and Zan Arbor smirked. She turned toward one of the attendants. “No marks at all. It is completely healed?”

 

“Yes ma’am, the bacta healed all the surface damage, and we suspect the tissue damage as well, but we need to bring in the scanner to check,” the female attendant replied.

 

Obi-Wan looked down at his stomach and realized that the blaster wound was completely healed. It left a sinking feeling in his gut. Somehow, the thought of Zan Arbor wanting him whole for her procedures was more intimidating than if she had left him bleeding. If she had healed him, she wanted him long term, and he didn’t want to think about what she wanted him for.

 

“Good.” Zan Arbor smiled “Beathar, go and get the scanner. Luatat, help me get the samples we need.”

 

Beathar went out of the room, while Zan Arbor and Luatat grabbed some medical equipment from a nearby tray. Obi-Wan gulped. He had no love for the Healer’s Ward, and he had a feeling these people would be far worse than his visits with Healer Lyonava. Zan Arbor drove a needle into a vein on his arm, none too gently.   
  
“What wonderful bedside manner you have,” he gritted out as she started to fill a rather large vial with his blood.

 

“You are not a patient, young Kenobi, you are a test subject,” Zan Arbor replied coldly. The sinking feeling in his stomach came back worse than ever.

 

Luatat shoved a swab into his mouth and made him gag, but thankfully pulled it out quickly, having gotten what she needed. The other attendant came into the room with a large durasteel machine he assumed was the scanner. He wheeled it over next to the bed and pulled out a large screen over him. He pressed a button and the machine came humming to life.

 

Zan Arbor and the attendants stood around the scanner silently. “Everything looks good. I want scans done every day to monitor,” Zan Arbor said, stalking towards the exit. One of the attendants started to pack up the scanner while the other one was attaching various electrodes to him to monitor his vitals. Then the two attendants started to leave and Obi-Wan perked up. Maybe with them gone he would have time to find a way off of this infernal table and a way to circumnavigate the stun guns. Zan Arbor stopped and turned around and any hope of escape vanished with her words. “Oh and I want him drugged at all times. I don’t want another escape attempt.” She smiled as she left the room.

 

Beathar came over and went to insert a needle into his wrist. Obi-Wan struggled against the restraints, but it was no use. The straps held him firm. The needle slid home and she attached an IV to it. Almost immediately, things started to go fuzzy again, and the last thing Obi-Wan heard before he fell asleep was the door sliding shut as the last person in the room left.

 

\---------

 

He woke sporadically, but was too disoriented to tell how much time has passed. It could have been a day, or weeks. His existence was a blur of tissue samples, blood samples and scans followed by intermittent bouts of sleep. He didn’t know what she was looking for with his midichlorians that she hadn't already found from her experiments with Qui-Gon, but whatever it was, apparently she was still searching.

 

His days were repetitive; a predictable schedule of needles and drugs and Zan Arbor’s leering smile, followable even through the haze of sedatives. Sometimes he wondered how long he’d been confined there, experimented on. Other days Obi-Wan was afraid of the answer. Certainly it had been long enough for the Council to send someone.

 

No one ever came though, and he fought the sedatives less and less, not wanting to exist as the lab rat he’d become. Everything was one never-ending day, his internal clock devastated by his separation of the Force and the cocktail in his bloodstream. Until one day, suddenly, it wasn’t. 

\------------------------  
  
He awoke to the shrill sound of blaster fire. Woozily, Obi-Wan turned his head towards the noise, taking a long time to place it through the haze. It was coming from the corridor. He stared stupidly for a few minutes before he belatedly realized that this could be a rescue. He strained, trying to listen past the low background noise of the medical equipment in the lab, his eyes falling shut in relief as he heard it. Lightsabers, the beautiful sound of a humming lightsaber. He was saved.

 

A few moments later the blaster fire stopped and the doors opened to reveal Jedi Knight Quinlan Vos, and Obi-Wan’s Master, Qui-Gon Jinn. “It took you long enough,” Obi-Wan slurred out. At least he _thought_ it had, he had no clue how much time had actually passed.

 

Quinlan laughed. “Wow Obi-Wan, they have you on the good stuff don’t they?”

 

“Stop laughing at me and get me down from this kriffing table,” Obi-Wan scowled. This seemed to be even funnier than what he said last time, because Quinlan just laughed louder, though both he and Qui-Gon did come closer and start undoing the straps. As soon as they were undone, he tried to slide off the table onto his feet, but quickly lost his balance.

 

Quinlan quickly grabbed him and turned to Qui-Gon to speak. “I’ve got this covered, go and see if you can stop that witch from escaping.”

 

Qui-gon hesitated and looked like he wanted to argue, but he paused, nodded and strode swiftly towards the door. Obi-wan watched him go with regret. He wished it was his Master standing there, instead of Knight Voss. “I’m cold.”

 

Quinlan chuckled. “No kidding, I can’t believe that’s all you’re saying about your state right now.” He took off his cloak and wrapped it around Obi-Wan, helping him into a seated position. Quinlan joined him on the floor and said, “If you were in your right mind right now, you would be worried about your virtue.”

 

Obi-Wan looked at Quinlan coyly from under his lashes. “Why, did you see something you like?” he asked slyly.

 

Quinlan went from smirking to a full out belly laugh at that. “You know you are never going to live this down right? This is a story that will be told for years to come.”

 

Obi-Wan gave him a disgruntled look, but before he could reply Qui-Gon strode back into the room.

 

“Let me guess, she escaped,” Quinlan deadpanned, rising back to his feet.

 

“Very observant of you to notice I didn’t bring a prisoner with me, Knight Vos.” Qui-gon replied in jest. “While we are here, we should gather any evidence she left behind.”

 

“Got it,” Quinlan called over his shoulder as he walked towards the data terminal on the far wall. He took out a data chip from a pouch on his belt and inserted it into the terminal. After typing for a few moment, he shook his head. “It is all highly encrypted. I can copy it, but we’ll need the analysts at the temple to decode it before we can get anything off of it.”

 

“At least she didn’t wipe the data,” Qui-Gon replied. “Obi-Wan, we must leave before more guards arrive. Can you walk?” He offered Obi-Wan his hand, and helped his Padawan to his feet.

 

Obi-Wan looked offended.

 

“Of course I can walk, Master,” he said as he took a few unsteady steps forward, but was promptly proven wrong as his legs started to buckle. Before he could hit the ground, Qui-Gon caught him, wrapping a supportive arm under his shoulders to keep him on his feet.

 

“I’ll take him, you take point and take care of any one who might object to our leaving,” Qui-Gon said leaning down to hook his other arm under Obi-Wan’s legs and lift him into his arms. Obi-Wan opened his mouth to protest, but a look from Qui-Gon made him shut it again.

 

The trip out of the complex was short, and there were few guards to block their way. The ones they did meet, Quinlan dispatched quickly. Obi-Wan dozed as they moved, content to be somewhere safe, to be back with his Master. He fell asleep with his head against Qui-Gon’s chest, lulled by the sound of his heart beating a calm steady rhythm.

 

\--------------

Obi-Wan woke to the sound of a slow constant beeping and the smell of antiseptic. His head wasn’t as foggy as he remembered it being before, but he was still having trouble thinking. He lifted his hand to his face and realized he wasn’t strapped down. He could move! He could escape Jenna Zan Arbor! The beeping was getting faster and faster and he thought he heard someone call his name, but he had no time for that, he had to escape and get his report back to the Council _now_. He opened his eyes and abruptly stood up, but his legs weren't ready to support him and he immediately started to fall, until a warm embrace caught him.

 

“Peace, Obi-Wan. You are safe. You are in a hospital on Ryloth, not in Zan Arbor’s lab,” a familiar voice murmured.

 

Obi-Wan relaxed immediately into the embrace.  
  
“Master.”  He grasped the front of the other man’s tunic with all the strength his feeble hands could muster. He was with Qui-Gon, he was safe. His Master helped him over to the bed he had just sprung up from and settled him down onto it.

 

“What happened?” he asked, settling himself into a sitting position as Qui-Gon adjusted the pillows behind him to help him remain upright.

 

“You, the ever prompt Padawan, didn’t check in on time, so Qui-Gon here pestered the Council until they sent us out on a rescue mission,” another familiar voice said. Obi-Wan turned to see Quinlan on the other side of the room. It was coming back to him slowly in bits and pieces.

 

“There was blaster fire,” Obi-Wan stated, scrunching his face up as he tried to get more details. “And then you and Master Qui-gon burst into the room that Zan Arbor was keeping me in.” He tried to recall more, but that was all that was coming to him for the moment.

 

“You don’t remember anything else?” Quinlan asked, trying to restrain the glee in his voice.

 

“No, It all gets blurry after that,” Obi-Wan responded cautiously.

 

Quinlan was practically oozing out amusement. “So you don’t remember hitting on me?”

 

Obi-Wan made a strangled noise “I most certainly did no such thing!”

 

He looked towards his Master for confirmation, but Qui-Gon was stony-faced.

 

“I can neither conform nor deny his claims as I was off chasing Zan Arbor.”  When he spoke again, his eyes were sparkling with humor. “But you were quite out of it when we found you.”

 

“What he means to say is you were drugged to the gills,” Quinlan crowed. “Garen and Reeft are going to get such a huge kick out of the Perfect Padawan coming on to a knight.”

 

Obi-Wan put on his best diplomatic face, but he could feel the blush spreading across his cheeks.

 

“Knight Vos, there will be quite enough time to rib my padawan on the ride home. For now we should discuss his health and the mission,” Qui-Gon said, sobering the mood in the room. “Zan Arbor managed to elude us yet again,” Qui-Gon related, and sounded just about as unhappy about that as Obi-Wan felt.

 

“But we chased her off before she could wipe all of the data off of her computers, so we have that to bring home for the slicers to decode,” Quinlan reminded them.

 

“And the people who disappeared?” Obi-Wan asked.

 

Quinlan and Qui-Gon shared a solemn look. “Most of them were dead when we arrived, but we did manage to get a few to medical services.”

 

Obi-Wan’s heart lurched in his chest at what he heard. If only he had been able to confirm his information without going in head first, and had avoided capture, everything could have been sent in his last databurst and those people could have been saved.

 

A hand on his shoulder made him look up. “Obi-Wan, those people were going to die  whether you got them out or not. Zan Arbor is not kind in her treatment of her test subjects,” Qui-Gon said, voice soft and consoling.

 

“Yeah, speaking of, what did she do to you, Obi-Wan? The doctor has already had a look at you, and besides the drugs they’re filtering out of your system, you’re pretty much fine. You haven’t even lost much weight or any muscle mass. They must have been stimulating your muscles,” Quinlan mused, taking a seat in the chair furthest from the bed.

 

“I don’t remember much,” Obi-wan started hesitantly. “She had me drugged most of the time. She took various samples from me.” He paused a moment. “Oh, and she gave me a bacta treatment for the blaster wounds I suffered while trying to break in.”

 

“They healed well,” Qui-Gon observed, “The doctor found no traces of the wounds.”

 

“Now that we have confirmed what happened, can I get this blasted inhibitor off?” Obi-Wan asked, while bringing his hands up to fiddle with the mechanism.  
  
The Master and Knight eyed each other for a moment, Qui-Gon sighing as he nodded.

 

“Yes, but be prepared, you have been in the inhibitor for at least thirteen days. We don’t know how you’ll react when it comes off.” Qui-gon gestured for Quinlan to open the lock.

 

Knight Vos reached his hand out towards the collar and concentrated. There was a click as the collar opened, and for a second there was nothing. Then everything came rushing back. There was so much information, Obi-Wan could feel it all; all of the people in the hospital, healthy and dying alike. He felt their emotions, and got wisps of thought. It was too much, like standing in a screaming crowd with no way to tell whose voice was whose. He curled into a ball and put his hands over his ears, trying to block out the sound, but it was no good. He thought he heard someone shouting, but all he could do was ride out the sensations, desperately trying to focus, and failing.

 

‘ _Obi-Wan,_ ’ a voice touched his mind, and he frantically reached out for it. He held onto the presence and saw a way out of this hell. He followed the connection downward and downward, until all he could hear was that voice, and everything else was blocked out. He wrapped himself around the prescenece as tightly as he could.

 

‘ _Obi-Wan_ ,’ the voice softly caressed him, ‘ _You must return to your own mind._ ’

 

 _‘It’s too much, I can’t!_ ’ he cried.

 

 _“You can’t stay here, Little One. People are waiting for you. You must return. I will help you_ ,” the voice intoned.

 

Obi-Wan paused. It was warm and quiet here; here he felt safe, but if the voice said he would help him, he believed it.

 

 _'Come.'_ The voice wrapped itself around him and it was wonderful. He followed as the voice pulled him upwards and upwards, until he could feel all the people again. He froze, waiting for it to hurt, but it didn’t..  Suddenly he was in his own mind again, and the voice was Qui-Gon. His mind was wrapped around Obi-Wan’s, in place of the Padawan’s own shields, which had been degraded and eroded to nothing by weeks in the inhibitor collar. It felt just like being curled up with Qui-Gon’s arms around him. Obi-Wan took a gasping breath and realized that he was freezing and shaking.

 

“Obi-Wan, can you hear me?” Qui-Gon asked.

 

It took Obi-Wan a couple of tries to get his voice working again. “Y-yes.” He was shaking so hard he couldn't get the word out without stammering.

 

“Quinlan get a blanket for him,” Qui-Gon commanded. Obi-Wan tried to turn and face Vos, but Qui-Gon caught his chin and turned his head back towards him. “Focus on me, Padawan. Try to match my breathing.”

 

Obi-Wan focused on Qui-Gon’s breathing pattern and tried to slow his own to match, but it was hard. He was breathing so fast that he felt light headed, on the verge of hyperventilating. Just as he was managing to slow his breaths, he felt something warm fall around his shoulders. A blanket. He grabbed the corners of it and pulled it tighter around himself, finally able to match the rise and fall of Qui-Gon’s chest.

 

“Good,” Qui-Gon praised, “Now you need to sleep.”

 

Obi-Wan tried to protest, but all that came out of his mouth was a strangled grunt. He was already out by the time Qui-Gon lowered him back down to the bed.

  


\----------

“He’s going to be fine, Qui-Gon,” Quinlan said for what felt like the tenth time.

 

“We should have waited to take off the suppression collar until we were back at the Temple with access to healers,” Qui-Gon argued.

 

“Yeah, we probably should have, but the point is kind of moot now, and he’s looking a lot better than he did a half hour ago. I think it was just psychic shock from being reintroduced to the Force after so long away from it.”

 

“Nevertheless, I should have taken the possibility of psychic shock into consideration when we decided to take off the collar,” Qui-Gon said tersely.

 

“Seriously Qui-Gon, he is doing way better, reach out and see for yourself,” Quinlan said.

 

Qui-Gon reached with the Force to examine his Padawan and was shocked to discover he was improving. Obi-Wan was on his way to a full recovery. Cases of psychic shock could take days to recover from. This shouldn’t be possible. Qui-Gon opened his mouth to discuss this new development with Quinlan, but when he opened his eyes, Quinlan had left the room.

 

Qui-Gon turned inward, trying to find a reason for this swift recovery and noticed that something was different. It took a moment to pinpoint the change, but when he did his eyes widened. It was his bond with Obi-Wan. It was significantly stronger than a training bond now. He surreptitiously prodded the bond, and Obi-Wan’s unconscious mind opened to him. He quickly put a light barrier between them, in order to protect Obi-Wan’s privacy. He examined the bond again and he realized that  he had been unknowingly sending energy to Obi-Wan, which was speeding the young man’s recovery process immensely.

 

Qui-Gon opened his eyes and relinquished his grasp on the Force. This was something he had not heard of happening before. He would have to do some research, and possibly bring it to the Council’s attention.

 

Qui-Gon rose from his seat by the door and sat on the edge of Obi-Wan’s bed. He ran his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair, which had grown out in their time apart. It suited him, and it would be a shame when he had to cut it again. The Master’s hand fell to where Obi-Wan’s Padawan braid lay on his shoulder. It was in a terrible state of disarray. Qui-Gon stared at it for a moment before coming to a decision. He unbound the strap of leather that held the braid together and took off the bead adornments, before quickly re plaiting it into a proper looking braid.

 

He remembered when he had plaited that braid for the first time, six years ago. It was so much longer now, and Obi-Wan had grown older as well. The Jedi life was not easy, but Qui-Gon was saddened by all that Obi-Wan had been forced to endure in his time as Qui-Gon’s apprentice. He was most certainly not a youngling anymore. The sight of Obi-Wan’s braid neatly plaited with all its adornments properly in place brought Qui-Gon a sense of peace, as he waited for Quinlan to return.

  
  


\---------

Obi-Wan woke to the sickening feeling of being in hyperspace. It had always been his least favorite way of travel. The Force was different in hyperspace; it seemed to turn in on itself. It was a sensation that often left him feeling cold and empty, beyond what was normal for space travel. Obi-Wan burrowed further into the blankets on the bunk, burying his face in the pillow as he tried to warm himself. He remained tucked into his cocoon at the sound of the door sliding open, uncurling and turning only at the touch of a hand on his shoulder.   
  
Qui-Gon stood there, face understanding as he looked down at his Padawan. He turned slightly to sit on the edge of the bunk and reached out with one hand to help Obi-Wan sit up before offering him a cup of tea with his other.

 

“I thought you might want this.”

 

Obi-Wan nodded and accepted the steaming cup without words, humming with pleasure at the first sip. He closed his eyes in tea induced bliss, not caring if it looked silly to in front of his Master. They sat in a companionable silence for several minutes, Obi-Wan sipping at the tea, relishing the warmth it slowly returned to his limbs. Qui-Gon had often teased him in the past about him being constantly cold during hyperspace travel, but never at times like this. Never when it was important.

 

The Master gently pried the cup from his grasp when it was empty. “Better?”

 

Obi-Wan nodded. “I’m still tired though.”  
  
“The sedatives are still wearing off. Their levels in your system were quite high without the ability to access the Force to purge them,” Qui-Gon explained. “Are you feeling hungry?”   
  
“No, I’m alright,” Obi-Wan replied, leaning back against his pillows only to feel his cheeks flush as his stomach chose that moment to let out a grumble.

 

Qui-Gon chuckled. “Do you even remember when you ate last?”  
  
He thought about it, but the sedatives clouded his memories. “I think there was a nasal tube...once? Sometime.”   
  
Qui-Gon frowned, eyebrow rising as concern once again showed on his face. “Even if  that were recent, I should think that it hardly constitutes as food.”

 

Obi-Wan winced as his stomach gurgled again, but took it in stride. “It appears, Master, that I have been deprived of proper meals for an unspecified amount of time.  I would be appreciative of dinner.”  
  
His Master’s face relaxed at the small amount of humor, and he patted the younger man on the knee through the blankets, adopting Obi-Wan’s formal speech. “Very well, Padawan. Wait here and I will return with a supper that meets your exacting standards.” He remained seated for a few more seconds though, hand lingering as he searched the Padawan’s eyes. There was exhaustion there, along with the hunger, but nothing outwardly alarming. His shields were low, and as he stood Qui-Gon took a brief moment to push some extra energy along the training bond, willing Obi-Wan to hold onto conscious long enough to eat properly. The Padawan smiled in gratitude and settled into the stillness of a meditative trance as Qui-Gon strode from the room.

\--------

 

Obi-Wan was bored, irritated, and ready to beat someone senseless.  
  
It was fine when Qui-Gon banned him from doing any saber drills or even simple katas. A small, but understandable annoyance. Quinlan’s insistence that someone be in the bathroom with him while he showered was a bit more ridiculous (“There’s a bench in there, Vos! If I get dizzy I’ll sit, I really don’t want to hurt myself!”). Obi-Wan drew the line when Qui-Gon attempted to help him dress and undress, his outrage lending him the strength to boot both Jedi from his cabin, with strict instructions to return only with tea and food.   
  
Obi-Wan regretted banishing his companions after his month spent with impersonal and silent lab technicians, but not enough to forgive them for their coddling. He sighed, resigning himself to meditation for the remainder of the trip.

 

At least they were only two days from Coruscant.

\------------------------

 

It took an hour for them to get clearance to enter Coruscant's  atmosphere and from there another forty minutes to navigate through the traffic and back to the Temple Obi-wan was the first one off the shuttle when it landed. He could not wait to get out of the claustrophobic space. It was a relief to be back at the Temple. To be home. He greedily drank in the sights around him; even the shuttle bay was a sight for sore eyes.

 

Quinlan followed him off the shuttle and meandered towards Obi-Wan. The young Knight slid into place beside the younger man and cuffed the side of his head. “It’s good to be back, isn’t it?”

 

Obi-Wan nodded and started making his way towards his and Qui-Gon’s rooms, eager to finally lay down in his own bed. Qui-Gon fell into step beside Obi-Wan.”Where do you think you are going?’ he asked, raising an inquisitive eyebrow.

 

“To our quarters, Master. I would like to check my messages, and see what work I need to finish for classes,” Obi-Wan replied.

 

“I think a stop by the Healer’s Ward is warranted first.” Qui-Gon started to shepherd Obi-Wan in the opposite direction, but Obi-Wan planted his feet firmly on the ground and would not budge.

 

“I was already checked out on Ryloth, and I had plenty of time to recover on the journey back to Coruscant,” Obi-Wan stated calmly, but his eyes were sparkling with defiance.

 

“It never hurts to be certain, Padawan,” Qui-Gon replied.

 

The frustration that had just been a trickling stream overflowed and the dam burst. “I am nineteen years old, and a senior Padawan. I am very much capable of taking care of myself,” Obi-Wan said, words short and clipped.

 

Qui-Gon looked shocked for a second, but he quickly schooled his face back to a neutral expression. “If you feel that you are restored to full health, then I will respect your decision.” He said smoothly.

  
Obi-Wan’s anger deflated and suddenly, he just felt tired. “Thank you, Master,” Obi-Wan bowed respectfully to his Master. If you will excuse me, I need to see what I must do to get caught up in my classes.” Obi-Wan left in a hurry, not waiting for Qui-Gon to change his mind.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big kudos to Punsandbulletsandpointythings for the beta!

Qui-Gon woke to the sound of retching coming from the 'fresher. It took him a second to register, but when he did, he got out of bed and rushed to the refresher to find Obi-Wan over the toilet, heaving. Qui-Gon walked over to him and knelt down, holding the young man’s braid out of the way and rubbing his back. He stayed there until Obi-Wan finished and shakily laid his head down on his arms. Then Qui-Gon went to the sink and got a cup of water for him to wash his mouth out with. Obi-Wan took it gratefully and shakily pulled himself into a standing position. Qui-Gon went over to steady him and asked, “Are you okay, Obi-Wan?”

“I’m fine,” Obi-Wan assured him, his voice hoarse, “And no, I don’t need to go to the Healer’s ward. It was just something I ate.”

“If you are sure. You should at least get some more rest,” Qui-Gon said while he shepherded his apprentice back to his room. Obi-Wan looked like he was about to object, but then his defiant look crumbled and he nodded tiredly.

“Just for a little bit, Obi-Wan agreed, sitting down on his bed, “But I do have work to do for my physics class.”

Qui-Gon made sure Obi-Wan was safely tucked in bed, wrapped up so far in the blankets that his head was barely showing, before he left for his morning meditation session. He made his way to the meditation gardens, the Coruscant sun shining in through the transparisteel and lighting the hall so that it glowed. The hall was fairly deserted despite the beauty of this early morning, and no one stopped him to converse with him.

He found his way to his customary spot in the wilderness garden,settling himself among a ring of stones, and inhaling the scent of pine. Artificial sunlight filtered through the trees, dust motes floating in the beams that reached the floor. The trickle of the nearby stream reminded him of the River of Light on his homeworld, warm and welcoming despite being hidden in thick woodland. This was where he felt most at home in the Force, where it was easiest to release his concerns and his fears.

Closing his eyes, Qui-Gon looked inward, searching out his training bond with Obi-Wan. After three days back on Coruscant, his Padawan was still drawing an unusual amount of energy through it. At the moment it wasn’t a problem, but it could be when the Council sent them on their next mission. He worried that Obi-Wan was ill despite the young one’s denials, and his fears had only been exacerbated by the morning’s incident in the ‘fresher.

Gently he probed at the bond, sending a wave of reassurance when he felt a spike in Obi-Wan’s curiosity at the contact. The Padawan withdrew at that, presumably returning to his sleep and leaving his Master to metaphorically poke and prod as he pleased. He checked their connections on both sides of the bond, blessedly easy as Obi-Wan had left his shields at a low level after the initial contact. Qui-Gon could find no indication that there was anything wrong with his Padawan. His mind felt healthy despite his weeks-long ordeal.

He was certain Obi-Wan was completely unaware that he was slowly leeching energy from him, and furthermore, as far as Qui-Gon could tell he didn’t need the energy at all. He sighed and broke away, rising to seek out those more knowledgeable than he. Whatever the problem, it was beyond his abilities.

\----------  
“Qui-Gon, I’m surprised to see you here, I thought you would be monitoring Obi-Wan like a Casting Hawk watching it’s chick.” Tahl smiled at Qui-Gon’s disgruntled face as she guided him into her sparse quarters.

“I’m not that bad, am I Tahl?” Qui-Gon asked.

“Qui-Gon, have you met yourself?” Tahl replied, deadpan.

He took his customary seat on the couch while Tahl busied herself in the kitchen making tea “Sapir tea? Or do you want something herbal like a Ho’din?” Tahl asked as she put the kettle on the stove.

“Sapir please,” Qui-Gon answered as he settled himself. Tahl came over to join him while the water was boiling.

“So what brings you to my humble abode?” Tahl asked as she sat on the chair across from Qui-Gon. “You already sent me an update saying Obi-Wan checked out of the med center in good condition. So what are you here to work yourself up into a tizzy over?”

“I do not work myself into a tizzy over anything,” Qui-Gon huffed. “And how much do you know about force bonds?”.

Tahl looked taken aback. “As much as any Jedi I would suppose. They’re formed to communicate more effectively with a Padawan or a partnered Knight. Depending on how the minds mesh the bond can be stronger or weaker. Why are you asking?”

Qui-Gon steepled his fingers together and took a moment before he spoke. “Something happened on Ryloth when we took off the inhibitor. Obi-Wan’s shields had deteriorated over the period of time he had it on, and when it came off his mind couldn’t handle it. He grasped the bond and buried himself in my mind. It took some convincing to bring him back to his own mind, but when he did return something was …. different.” Qui-Gon paused trying to gather the words to continue.

Tahl leaned forward in interest, clearly engrossed in the story. She motioned for him to continue.

“The bond was stronger,” Qui-Gon started, “And I noticed I was able to sense his emotions without any effort. He was also drawing energy from me through the bond without conscious effort.”

“You mean he isn’t aware of the changed state of the bond?” Tahl asked, eyes widening with shock.

“No, he is not. I have not informed him of the change yet. I believe he is still ill and I don’t want to give him anything else to worry about.”

“Qui-Gon, I’ve never heard of anything like this,” Tahl said, clasping her hands tightly together.

Qui-Gon inclined his head. “I have not either, but I thought that if anyone had, it would be you. I would like to ask for your assistance researching this in the Archives. Your research skills are unparalleled.”

“Well Qui, flattery is one way to get me to help. I’ll see what I can dig up.” Tahl smiled.

“Thank you Tahl, I truly appreciate this.” Qui-Gon said, just as the kettle started to whistle.

“Perfect timing, we can discuss our course of action over tea.” Tahl rose to go fetch the kettle.

 

\-----------

Obi-Wan left Master Toliman’s classroom feeling exhausted. He had only been gone for three weeks, but it felt like he was even farther behind than that. He was going to have to ask Garen for his notes. Obi-Wan put his pad under his arm and started walking down the hallway that was flooded with Padawans leaving their classes and making their way to the Commissary.

Just the thought of food was making Obi-Wan nauseous, so he abruptly turned to walk in the opposite direction. The Archives were mostly empty at this time of day. He made his way there, intending to start work on his report on the third war of Cartao, but before he could even make it five steps towards the Archives, he heard a familiar voice calling his name.

“Obi!” Bant cried, “Over here!” She waved her webbed hands in the air to get his attention.

Groaning in dismay, Obi-Wan slowly turned around to face her, making his way slowly towards his Mon Cal friend. Bant was just as bad as her Master, Healer Lyonava, on pestering him about his weight. They both thought he was underweight and be should eating more. There was no way Bant would let him get away from her without seeing him eat something. Obi-Wan put on what he hoped was a convincing smile.“Bant, how are you doing?”

Bant laughed, and nudged Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “I should be the one asking you that, you just got back from your first solo mission! And, you didn’t come into the Healer’s for your post-mission check up.” She was scowling, hand planted on her hips, but her eyes were shining with mirth.

“For your information, I was checked out on a Med-center on Ryloth and got a clean bill of health.” Obi-Wan sniffed, turning his nose up haughtily.

Bant gasped and pointed her finger reprimanding at him. “And you didn’t come to see me when you got back?”

“I didn’t think you missed me that much,” Obi-Wan said smiling at her brightly.

Bant closed the distance between them and wrapped her arm around Obi-Wan. “Come on Obi, let's go eat lunch,” she said cheerfully, and dragged Obi-Wan to the Commissary.

\--------------

The Commissary was almost overwhelming. There were crowds of people sitting around tables, or in line to grab food. They were all talking, and the noise made Obi-Wan’s head throb. Worse than that was the smell. There were so many different smells that he couldn’t tell which one was making him sick. He plopped down at the first empty table and waved at Bant. “You go get food, I’ll stay here.”

“What do you want to eat?” Bant asked.

Obi-Wan sighed and put his head in his hands. He knew saying he wasn’t hungry was not going to work. “Get me whatever you think looks good,” he mumbled. Bant gave him a searching look then left to get them food.

Obi-Wan tried taking deep breaths to sooth his nausea, but that was a mistake. It just made it worse. He was breathing shallowly and chanting a mantra for peace in his mind, when Bant returned, pulling him out of his thoughts as she set a tray down in front of him. The smell that was assaulting his senses got even stronger.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes to find Fried Crispic. Bant was saying something to him, but he couldn’t concentrate on it, he just knew he had to get out of here fast. He stood up abruptly and started running to the nearest waste receptacle. He almost didn’t make it, but just as he got to it, he started sicking up. He heaved for long minutes, feeling miserable. At some point he felt a hand rubbing his back, and when he was finished,slumping down, he saw it was Bant who had comforted him. She offered him a hand and helped pull him upright, snaking an arm behind his back for support.

“Come on Obi-Wan, let’s go to the Healer’s Ward,” Bant said sedately. Obi-Wan nodded and started following along before the words really hit him. He stopped in his tracks.

“I’m fine, Bant. It must have been something I ate for breakfast. I feel better now.” And strangely enough, he did, now that he was away from the noise and scents of the Commissary.

Bant looked him up and down, skeptical of his proclamation. “You just don’t want to be examined.”

“Can you blame me?” he asked, spreading his arms wide. “Look, you can sense the Force. Do I feel at all ill to you?” He deliberately lowered his shields, leaving Bant free to search his Force signature for ailments.

She frowned, Force-touch feather light as she probed his aura. Eventually she sighed, “No.”

“See? Totally fine.”

“Fine,” she grumbled. “But if it happens again, you’re going. Even if I have to enlist your Master to drag you there kicking and screaming.”

Obi-Wan gasped, mock clutching his chest. “Bant, you wound me.”

“Please, the only time you’d stop avoiding the ward like it’s the Rakghoul Plague is if you had the Rakghoul Plague.” She huffed.

“I swear Bant, that if it happens again I will come to the ward—”

“You humans are bizarre,” she declared as Obi-Wan began to walk, rushing to fall into stride with him.

“And only if it happens again.”

\--------

Obi-Wan did not, in fact, keep his word to Bant. Over the next few days he felt nauseous almost all the time, and was sick many times. Luckily, he managed to hide it from his Master and Bant, so no one was dragging him to the Healer’s ward. He was getting tired of being sick all the time, and he fervently hoped this was just a stomach bug that would clear up soon. It wasn’t just that he didn’t want to go to the Healer’s, it was that the idea of being in there, poked and prodded left him feeling terrified. He knew he needed to face this, meditate and release his feelings, but every time he thought about Zan Arbor and what happened, he panicked. He would start to hyperventilate until he managed to focus his mind on something else. He knew he could take care of this himself, he didn’t want to put his burdens on Qui-Gon. He had already put enough on him, and he most definitely did not want to do a joint meditation. He had enough trouble with his shields as it was, there were some things he desperately didn’t want his Master to know about. Like Obi-Wan’s feelings for him. Qui-Gon was a rogue, but Obi-Wan didn’t think he would be okay with breaking the no attachments part of the Padawan code. He was so close to being a Knight, it was just within his reach. He had already taken the classes on how to deal with attachment and balance it with the Jedi Lifestyle. He knew he could do it, now he just needed to face his Trials. But with the disaster that his first solo mission turned out to be, he didn’t think his Master was going to recommend him for the Trials anytime soon.

Sighing, Obi-Wan turned away from the rail of his and Qui-Gon’s balcony, wandering inside. Perhaps he would make some tea while he waited for his Master to return. It was one of the few things his stomach did not seem to find objectionable.

He set about making the beverage, procuring some light crackers from a cupboard. He breathed in the steam rising from his tea bowl, already feeling his mood lift. He settled on a meditation cushion at the small table in their quarters.

He started nibbling on a cracker when he heard the door woosh open, and his Master strode into the room.”I see i have missed tea time, is there any left for me?” Qui-Gon asked.

“There is still hot water left. Let me make you some,” Obi-Wan said, as he made his way into the kitchen. “I am having Hodin, but we still have some Sapir left if you would like that.”

“Sapir would be wonderful. Thank you, Padawan,” Qui-Gon said as he sat down on the meditation cushion that was opposite Obi-Wan’s.

Obi-Wan poured the water into a mug and put the Sapir leaves in. He watched them start to uncurl. The Sapir flower’s vibrant colors were dulled by the water, but it was still beautiful to see. He brought the mug over to his Master and handed it to him. Qui-Gon took the cup from him and nodded his head gratefully. Obi-Wan made himself comfortable on his cushion.

“You are still looking a little pale, Padawan, are you sure you are over your illness?” Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan tried to hide his wince. He was not doing better, in fact he might be doing worse, but he most definitely did not want Qui-Gon to know that. If he found out he would drag him to the Healer’s ward no matter how much Obi-Wan protested. “I’m fine,” Obi-Wan assured him, “Just a little tired from all the activity today.”

Qui-Gon scrutinized Obi-Wan for a long minute then nodded. “Then you should go to bed early tonight. I’ve arranged a tandem duel with Master Gallia and Padawan Tachi tomorrow afternoon. I suspect you wouldn’t want to add another loss to your ongoing contest.”

Obi-Wan brightened. Sparring! Finally his Master had stopped his coddling and let him get back to a normal schedule. A match against Siri was always a good fight. Qui-Gon was right, he was going to add another tally to his victories, which he definitely didn’t have written down on plast somewhere. “Siri-Tachi and I are not in a contest to see who wins the most, as that would be unbecoming of a Jedi,” he corrected.

Qui-Gon raised a speculative eyebrow, “If you say so, Obi-Wan.” He raised his tea to his lips. With that stated, they moved on to conversing about their day, and it was a piece of normality that Obi-Wan relished after the time he had spent on Ryloth. They chatted until the sun set and Obi-Wan excused himself and retired to bed.

 

\---------

 

Qui-Gon was looking forward to this match-up. It had been a long time since he last faced off against Adi Gallia and her Padawan, Siri-Tachi, who always put up a good fight. He looked over at Obi-Wan as he was stretching, readying himself for the battle, and smiled. It had been some time since they had sparred together just for fun, instead of battling for their lives. Obi-Wan caught Qui-Gon’s glance and smiled at him.

“Ready to lose Kenobi?” Siri-Tachi mocked, as she finished her stretches.

Obi-Wan ignited his saber and slid into a classic Ataru opening stance. Qui-Gon followed and brought his left foot forward and lifted his lightsaber. They all held for a second, and then the fight started. Qui-Gon went in with a powerful strike, which Adi deftly parried. She retaliated with a strike of her own, driving him back into the wall and effectively cornering him. Qui-Gon deftly leapt into the air and landed behind Master Gallia. He went for an overhead strike, but Adi spun around quickly and caught the blade with her own. He was about to retaliate when he heard a crash and Siri-Tachi yelping.

He turned around to see Obi-Wan unconscious on the floor and Siri-Tachi hurrying over to him. He and Adi both deactivated their lightsabers and went running over. “What happened?” Qui-Gon demanded.

Siri turned around from where she was crouched next to Obi-Wan. “He jumped up to flip and then just fell half way through. I think he hit his head.”

Just as she finished speaking, Obi-Wan started to stir. “What happened?” he groaned.

“”You fainted in the middle of an aerial move. And fell flat on your face.” Siri said gleefully. “This is a story that I will tell for years to come. Showing aspiring Padawans that the great Obi-Wan Kenobi isn't infallible.”

Obi-Wan sat up and rubbed his head. “And you didn’t think to try to catch me?” he groused.

“It was all too sudden, I was in shock.” Siri smiled.

Qui-Gon stepped around Padawan Tachi and crouched down to look at Obi-Wan’s head. There was a lump forming there, along with what promised to be a pretty spectacular bruise. He reached out and touched it softly and Obi-Wan winced.

“Really, I’m fine, Master. Just light headed,” Obi-Wan assured him.

“You might have a concussion, we need to go to the Healer’s ward,” Qui-Gon said.

For a split second, Obi-Wan looked panicked, but he quickly schooled his features into something more calm. “I know what a concussion feels like, and I can assure you I don’t have one,”

Qui-Gon raised a speculative eyebrow. “Can you tell me why you fainted then?”

Obi-Wan looked mulish. “No, I can’t,” he admitted reluctantly.

“Then we will go to the Healer’s and they will find out why,” Qui-Gon declared.

Qui-Gon turned to Master Gallia and her Padawan. “It looks like we will have to schedule a rematch for later.”

“I look forward to it,” Adi Gallia said.

As Obi-Wan stood up and started following his Master out of the salle, Siri-Tachi caught his shoulder and said, “I’ll call this one a draw, Kenobi, but I won’t go easy on you next time.”

“We shall see, the last time we sparred, your lightsaber technique wasn't up to par.” Obi-Wan smirked at her, and followed his Master out of the room.

“You just wait, Obie-Nobi, I’ll get you next time,” Siri called after him as he went down the hall.

  
\--------  
Qui-Gon’s hand rested on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, steering them both to the Healer’s ward with firm resolve. The lump in Obi-Wan’s throat grew, fear rising towards a state of panic with each step they took. Logically he knew that there was no danger, nothing and no one that would actively seek to harm him, but it didn’t stop images of silent medical technicians flashing before his eyes, ignoring his pleas and failing to acknowledge him as a sentient being.

Obi-Wan hesitated at the threshold of the ward, moving forward only at a squeeze from Qui-Gon’s hand. He tried to keep his breathing steady as he stepped into the room.

“Healer Lyonava should be in shortly to look you over.” Qui-Gon offered him a smile.

Obi-Wan tried to focus on the older man, but the smell of the antiseptic was overpowering. Everything was stark white and durasteel, just like the facility. His breathing increased in pace, but he held on. ‘I can do this,’ he thought determinedly, ‘This isn’t Ryloth, this is the Temple, I am fine.” He realized his hands were shaking, and clenched them around the side of the bed to hide that. The door opened and Healer Lyonova walked in. At least Twi’leks had few similarities to Duros. He was also wearing browns and tans, and not the blinding white that the lab assistants had worn. Bant followed him into the room, and the sight of his friend calmed him a bit.

He could vaguely heard Lyonova talking to Qui-Gon, but he payed no attention to the words being spoken. He continued to concentrate on his breathing, taking long, slow breaths in an attempt to relax. He avoiding looking at Bant, not wanting to see the knowing look in her eyes, the one that said, ‘I knew you weren’t well, Obi-Wan.’ Her hand slipped into his and squeezed.

“Are you okay, Obi-Wan?” There was no smugness in her voice over him being forced there by Qui-Gon, just concern. He looked at her, and finally began to relax at the sight of her calm eyes, her thumb stroking soothingly across the back of his hand.

“Not really,” he admitted, as Healer Lyonova and Qui-Gon finished their conversation.

Okay Obi-Wan, we need get your vitals,” Healer Lyonava said. He wrapped a pressure cuff around his arm, and as it closed, his heart rate skyrocketed. His breath hitched in his chest as the panic tried to rise in a wave. Lyonova frowned as Obi-Wan’s force signature clearly broadcasted his distress, glancing at Qui-Gon with an unmistakeable, ‘Do something before your Padawan passes out again!’ face.

Qui-Gon moved to stand in front of Obi-Wan, settling his hands on his Padawan’s shoulders. “Breathe with me,” he requested, putting just a touch of a Force suggestion into the words. Qui-Gon watched as Obi-Wan struggled to concentrate, until he finally managed to drag wide eyes away from the pressure cuff on his arm and focus on the rise and fall of Qui-Gon’s chest.

 

\---------

Lyonova left the cuff deflated until he saw the Padawan’s heart rate begin to drop, distracted by Bant and his Master, working together to calm the young man. He didn’t doubt that the reaction was a side effect of his stint on Ryloth at Zan Arbor’s hands. Obi-Wan had declined a visit to his Ward when he had been returned to Coruscant, but Lyonova would be scheduling some required visits to the Mind Healers when he was done with this examination. No Jedi that panicked over their own medical treatment could be trusted with that of another in an emergency situation.

He finally got a read from the cuff and immediately removed it from Obi-Wan’s arm, choosing to ignore the sigh of relief from the Padawan. Lyonova elected to prepare the vials and needle for a blood panel himself rather than pull Bant away. Keeping Obi-Wan’s focus off of him was more important at the moment.

Lyonova tied a tourniquet onto Obi-Wan’s arm with practiced ease, despite a flinch at the touch. The Padawan seemed determined to follow Qui-Gon’s orders though, his eyes never leaving the man’s chest, though Bant’s hand paled as Obi-Wan grasped it a bit tighter.

“You might feel a slight pinch,” he commented, allowing just a seconds notice before sliding a needle into the now prominent vein in the crook of Obi-Wan’s elbow. The blood flowed quickly, blood pressure still a hair higher than normal, and it was less than a minute before the necessary vials were full. Lyonova gave the arm a small nudge with the Force, encouraging the small puncture to heal before Obi-Wan could realize he was finished.

“All done,” he said. Normally he would have teased such an obstinate Padawan about his reluctance to visit the ward when ill, but it just wasn’t the time or the student to do so. “We’ll start with the blood panel, and if that doesn’t turn anything up, we’ll do some scans to see what we can find. I’m going to keep you here overnight, but we’ll move you to a private room, no equipment.”

Obi-Wan’s shoulders slumped as he finally looked away from Qui-Gon, his face one of abject misery.

“You will also be meeting with a Mind Healer in the morning.” The Padawan nodded, Lyonova’s voice making it clear that no form of protest would be accepted. “Further appointments will be scheduled at your convenience. I think Healer Nyatas Bailaiea would be a suitable match for you.”

Lyonova often found the best was to deal with stubborn Jedi was to throw them in a room with a stubborn healer and wait for sparks to fly. Healer Bailaiea definitely topped the list; it was only through mutual determination that they both survived her apprenticeship without murdering each other. She would be perfect for dealing with Obi-Wan Kenobi.

\-------------------------

Bant escorted Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon to their temporary room. It was small, but there was a sink and private bathroom, and a sleep couch rested against the wall opposite the medical bed for Masters to stay near their ailing Padawans. Bant gave Obi-Wan a hug, before hurrying out of the room to run his blood tests for her Master. Obi-Wan sat down on the bed looking immensely relieved to be out of the main Healer’s ward. Qui-Gon sat across from him on the sleep couch. He needed to talk to Obi-Wan, but he also needed to sort through his thoughts. He knew that his Padawan’s stay with Zan Arbor wasn’t pleasant, but he had no idea that his reaction to it would be this bad.

“Obi-Wan, is this why you’ve been avoiding the Healer’s ward?” Qui-Gon asked softly.

Obi-Wan wrapped his arms around himself and looked down, not wanting to meet his Master’s eyes. “Yes,” he whispered, barely loud enough for Qui-Gon to hear.

“Why didn’t you come to me with this? If I had known, we could have prepared, we could have worked on your anxieties.” Qui-Gon was genuinely bewildered by the fact that Obi-Wan would want to hide this from him. In the past, Obi-Wan had been reluctant to share his struggles with him, but in the end came to him for advice. Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan broadcasting his discomfort clearly, even without the changed state of their bond.

“I didn’t want to burden you with my problems. I am a senior Padawan, I should be able to take care of these things by myself,” Obi-Wan murmured. He was still looking anywhere but at Qui-Gon.

“Obi-Wan, no one expects you to deal with things like this by yourself.” Qui-Gon began. “I know I am not the best example of taking the help I need. After Xanatos fell I refused to talk about him, but after my experience with Zan Arbor, the Council made me go to mandatory sessions with a Mind Healer. I will admit that I was reluctant at first, but it did help.”

Obi-Wan finally looked up at Qui-Gon, but his hands were still wrapped tightly around his body. The Padawan opened his mouth, then closed it again, unsure of what to say. After a long moment of silence he spoke. “It wasn’t a big deal. She didn’t even hurt me. It shouldn’t be affecting me this much.”

Qui-Gon leaned forward on the couch and found his Padawan’s gaze. “Obi-Wan, everyone experiences things differently. What would not affect one person could be disastrous for another. On top of that, what you went through was not easy. You lost control of your body and your mind, and the Force was taken away from you. It is natural for you to have residual anxieties about these things,” Qui-Gon explained.

“I didn’t know what to do about it,” Obi-Wan choked out. “Every time I tried to meditate and release the feelings attached to those memories, I … I panicked. I didn’t want to admit my failings to you, Master.” He turned away from Qui-Gon, not wanting to meet his gaze.

Qui-Gon stood up and made his way over to the bed where Obi-Wan was and sat beside him. He went to place his arm on Obi-Wan’s thigh, but hesitated for a moment, not knowing if the touch would be welcome. He decided to risk it, and Obi-Wan turned to face him. Qui-Gon couldn’t decipher the emotions in his Padawan’s eyes. “Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon started softly, “You have never been a disappointment to me. There is nothing you could do that could change that. Early in your apprenticeship I didn’t show it, and later I thought I didn’t need to say it, but that was my mistake. I know that now.”

“No Master,” Obi-Wan interrupted, “This isn’t on you, it’s my fault it’s—”

“No, Obi-Wan, it is not. My job is not only to teach you, but to take care of your wellbeing, both physical and mental, and I see now that I haven’t done that. I intend to remedy this, starting now,” Qui-Gon interjected somberly, curling his arm around Obi-Wan’s shoulder. The young man leaned further into the embrace, placing his head on his Master’s shoulder and Qui-Gon could feel some of the tension and anxiety that was radiating off of his Padawan vanish. ”Now, It doesn’t need to be tonight, but if you want to I would like to do a joint meditation to work through some of what you are going through,” he said, softly.

Obi-Wan nodded, but didn’t move from his position of leaning against Qui-Gon’s chest. “Can you, I mean would you … Would you stay tonight?” he asked in a tentative voice.

Qui-Gon pulled his apprentice even closer and said, “Of course, Obi-Wan, all you have to do is ask.”

They stayed like that until Obi-Wan started to drift off, then Qui-Gon tucked him under the covers on the bed. He reached out and touched the strange new bond between them and could sense nothing but peace, so he made his way over to the sleep couch and lay down. He did not sleep for a long time.

\--------  
When Obi-Wan woke the next morning, he was feeling a little bit better than he had been for the last week. He looked around the room to find his Master gone. Panic swelled in his chest, and he tried to reach out through their training bond. He sensed Qui-Gon nearby, and he immediately relaxed. A few minutes later his Master entered the room carrying a tray of food. Obi-Wan was surprised to find that he was actually hungry, and that he wasn’t nauseous. Qui-Gon set the tray on the table next to the bed. It had a Muja fruit, eggs and toast on it. Obi-Wan looked up to his Master and smiled. “Thank you for breakfast, but where is yours?”

“I already ate. I was just waiting to give this to you when you woke up,” Qui-Gon said, smiling brightly. Just as he sat down, his commlink started to chirp. He frowned and ignored the message. Obi-Wan started to eat and silence descended. Qui-Gon’s comm link started to chirp again, breaking the silence.

“It looks like someone really wants to get in touch with you. Maybe you should answer,” Obi-Wan suggested, picking up and inspecting the Muja fruit before he took a big bite out of it.  
“It’s just the Council. They wanted our verbal mission report today, but they can wait a little longer,” Qui-Gon said.

“Master,” Obi-Wan said exasperatedly, “We can't defy the Council again, I am well enough to go.”

“No,” Qui-Gon gave his Padawan a stern look. “We still don’t know what caused your fainting spell yesterday. You aren’t going anywhere until you are cleared by Healer Lyonova.”

“Fine, I’ll stay,” Obi-Wan sighed. “But you should go, Master, I will be fine until you come back.” He pushed away the tray, starting to feel a little nauseous and not wanting to risk eating more.

“Healer Lyonova will be here in an hour to do another check up. He has agreed to do it up here instead of in the main ward. Will you be okay to be on your own?” Qui-Gon asked, worriedly.

Obi-Wan thought hard, then took a deep breath. “I won’t be alone. Bant will be there. I will be fine, Master.” He smiled a bit shakily at Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon nodded and stood up. “Very well, I will go. I trust your judgement, but if you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

Obi-Wan watched him leave the room, then dashed to the 'fresher as the nausea overcame him. He barely made it to the toilet before he was sick. He heaved up everything in his stomach and when that was out, it continued. It felt like his stomach was trying to turn itself inside out. He was so preoccupied with being sick, that he didn’t hear the door open. He felt a hand rub his back and a cool washcloth touch his forehead. He finally finished and weakly leaned against the toilet.

“Obi-Wan, you promised you would come to the ward if you were still sick, and you obviously are,” Bant said in a soft but disapproving voice. She then helped Obi-Wan to his feet and supported him as he staggered back to the bed.

He lay down on the bed and looked at Bant. “I’m sorry, Bant, but now you know why I didn’t want to go.” He smiled weakly.

“Oh, Obi,” Bant cried and gave him a tight hug. She released him and sat down on the bed next to him. “I’m sorry Obi, but I need to draw more blood from you. The Healer who ran your blood test contaminated it.”

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and nodded. “It’s okay Bant, I can do this.”

“Okay, Obi, just relax,” she soothed.

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and touched his training bond with Qui-Gon. He could sense his Master’s irritation, and smiled. Council meetings never went well for his Master or the Council. He barely even felt the pinch as the needle went in, and before he knew it, it was over.

“Done,” Bant said cheerily. “Now I need to get this back to the lab. Will you be alright by yourself?”

“Don’t worry Bant, I’ll be fine. I am just going to rest for a bit.” Obi-Wan yawned and crawled back under the blankets, curling up and making a little nest for himself.

“Sleep Well Obi-Wan,” was the last thing he heard before he fell asleep.

\-----

Obi-Wan woke to the sound of voices conferring. He turned over and attempted to go back to sleep, but one of the voices called his name. “Padawan Kenobi, I need you to wake up.”

Obi-Wan sat up and ran his hand across his face, trying to wipe the sleep away. He tiredly looked up and found Healer Lyonova at the foot of his bed. “Di―” Obi-Wan croaked, his voice sore from disuse. He cleared his voice and tried again, “Did you find out what caused the problem?”

“We found no viruses or infections in your blood, but we did find a large imbalance in your hormones. That and the fact that you are still vomiting has us concerned, so we want to try a body scan,” the healer explained.

Obi-Wan looked over Healer Lyonova’s shoulder to see Bant wheeling in a small machine with some sort of wand attached on one side, and a screen on the other. She pulled the machine up right next to his bed.

“Please take off your shirt Obi-Wan,” the Healer requested.

Obi-Wan took a shaky breath and complied. He pulled it off in one motion, trying to get it over quick.

Lyonova noticed his unease and asked “Would you like to wait for Master Jinn to get back?”

Obi-Wan shook his head determinedly. “No, I can do this,” he assured the Healer.  
His heart was beating faster than normal, but it wasn't the frantic pace of yesterday’s examination. He took a deep breath and laid back on the bed, steeling himself for the exam.

“We won’t even need to touch you for this Obi-Wan, but if it gets to be too much, tell me and I’ll stop,” the Twi’lek said firmly.

Obi-Wan nodded and tried to relax as Bant took the wand and waved systematically from his head downward. He relaxed as the exam went on; the fact that he wasn’t being touched helped immensely.

Bant slowly moved downward and as she reached his abdomen, Healer Lyonova made a surprised noise. “Bant, Go back down and get a picture of the whole abdomen.” Bant followed his instructions and moved the wand over Obi-Wan’s stomach. The Healer was quietly muttering to himself and looking from the screen to Obi-Wan and back again. His lekku were twitching in agitation. The quiet and intense looks caused a sinking feeling in Obi-Wan’s gut.

“Thank you Bant, I got what I needed.” Healer Lyonova praised. Then he turned to Obi-Wan. “In your time with Zan Arbor did she inject you with anything?” he asked.

The feeling in his gut was even worse now and Obi-Wan felt like he was going to panic. “Not that I remember, but I was out of it most of the time.” His voice trembled as he spoke. “They only took samples,” Obi-Wan paused thinking for a moment. “They also put me in bacta to heal my blaster wounds.”

Healer Lyonova made some grumbling noises and looked back to the scanner. “Well this certainly explains the hormone imbalance if nothing else.”

Obi-Wan’s heart was beating frantically now, and his breathing was getting faster. “What’s wrong with me?” he asked fearfully.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, but, well, you’re pregnant.” Healer Lyonova admitted.

Obi-Wan’s brain didn’t process the answer for a time, and when it finally he laughed, some of the panic leaving him. “Very funny, now please tell me what is really going on.”

The Healer took the screen and turned it to face Obi-Wan. “I’m afraid I’m not joking, Padawan Kenobi. If you look here you can clearly see something that looks like an artificial womb and here,”he pointed to what looked like a tiny blob, “Is the fetus.”

Obi-Wan blinked, befuddled by the news. He sat there for a long minute, then said “How is this even possible? I don’t understand” He wasn’t in danger of hyperventilating anymore, he was so shocked he almost couldn’t get his breath.

“Well that I don’t know, but looking at how far the fetus is developed, it looks like it happened while you were with Jenna Zan Arbor. I requested the files they took from her computer, but the technicians haven’t been able to decode it yet, so I can’t say how right now,” Bant’s Master explained.

‘What I can tell you is that I believe I could safely remove it, but there could be complications.”  
Obi-Wan’s mouth was as dry as the Tatooine desert. He swallowed trying to get moisture back into his mouth. “Is, Is it healthy?” he asks tentatively.

Healer Lyonova looked shocked. “As far as I can see it is, But if you were to go through with this I have no idea how things would go. I do think it could be dangerous though.”

Obi-Wan took a in a deep breath and held it for a moment, then slowly let it out. “I, I think I need some time to think.” he quavered.

“Very well, Let me know when you’ve made a decision,’ the healer said and motioned for Bant to leave the room with him.

A soon as the door shut, Obi-Wan put his head in his hands and his mind went blank.


	3. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is discussion of rape in this chapter!

Qui-Gon Jinn didn’t go out of his way to irritate the Council, but it sometimes appeared that he did. He stood at the center of the chamber, giving a mission debriefing on his Padawan’s first solo mission, sans said Padawan.The Council was not pleased.

 

“Explain to us, why Padawan Kenobi is not here to give this report himself.” Mace Windu didn’t outwardly show his displeasure, but Qui-Gon was certain there would be an up-close and personal encounter with the Vapaad in the salle in his near future.

 

“My Padawan is...indesposed. He has been confined to the Healing Wards by Master Lyonova.”  
  
“Serious, must it be, to be confined so suddenly.” Yoda tipped an ear forward.

 

“Yes, Master. Obi-Wan passed out while performing an aerial in a sparring session yesterday evening.” Qui-Gon bowed his head, ashamed to admit the next part. He should have noticed, particularly with their strengthened bond. “Upon escorting him to the Healers to be checked for injuries, Obi-Wan revealed that he has been regularly ill since our return from Ryloth.”  
  
Odd glances were thrown about the room at this. Qui-Gon could practically hear the murmur of mental discussion.   
  
“Ill, how?” Yarael Poof finally wondered, as the Council’s collective gaze returned to Qui-Gon.   
  
“Nausea and vomiting, as I understand it. This is the first time he has passed out.” Qui-Gon frowned. “Obi-Wan also appears to be suffering from severe post traumatic stress disorder relating to his … imprisonment. He has been experiencing severe anxiety that is preventing meditation, and experienced a panic attack during Healer Lyonova’s examination.”   


“Experienced much pain, your Padawan has. Given details, have you been?” Yoda asked.

 

“No, Master, though Obi-Wan did say early on after his capture he underwent Bacta treatment for blaster wounds. He also said that Zan Arbor regularly took blood samples.” He thought back to  the facility, to his Padawan confined to a medical bed, arms and legs restrained, a force inhibitor around his neck. “We believe he was kept heavily drugged to make him compliant, and he was kept partially sedated as well. The med center on Ryloth has data that supports this, the amount of drugs found in Obi-Wan’s system would have been difficult for even a Master to purge, with full use of the Force.” Qui-Gon could vouch for that from his own experience. He hoped no one on the Council asked, It was not something he was interested in relieving at the moment. Fortunately, no one did.

 

“What has Healer Lyonova found of Obi-Wan’s condition?” Adi Gallia this time, sounding genuinely concerned.

 

“Nothing so far. He is performing a blood panel, and if that yields no information, he will be utilizing a deep tissue scan.” The healer had cleared everything with Qui-Gon before he had even taken Obi-Wan’s blood pressure, concerned that the Padawan had never been through the Healer’s ward after his return to begin with. Qui-Gon was quite certain the younger Jedi would not be released until Lyonova felt convinced there was nothing wrong.  
  
“Has Kenobi been referred to the Mind Healers?” Saesee Tinn asked.

 

“Healer Lyonova will be referring Obi-Wan to Nyatas Bailaiea once he has been cleared.” There were nods around the room at this; at least the Council approved of something.  
  
“Very well,” Mace declared, steepling his finger together under his chin, “We expect a full report from _both_ of you when Kenobi is able.”

 

\------

Qui-Gon made it a point to check in on Obi-Wan after he was finished with the Council meeting. He was pleasantly surprised to find him resting peacefully in the private room off the med ward. After brushing against his mind to make sure that all was well, he decided to visit Tahl and see if she had made any progress in her research. He stopped by her quarters and entered to see the whole sitting room was in disarray. There were data pads stacked everywhere, sheets of ‘plast covering almost every surface, and even a few reams of actual paper. “Tahl?” He called out, not seeing her amongst the mess.

 

“Over here Qui!” Tahl yelled back. Qui-Gon followed the sound of her voice into the bedroom, which also had readers everywhere, but it was much more organized than the front room. Tahl was sitting on her bed looking intently at a data reader.

 

“I see you dove into your research head first,” Qui-Gon said, amused by the mess she had created.

 

“It is actually really interesting, Force users have had a multitude of bond types over a millennia that have just fallen out of use!” Tahl exclaimed, gesturing to the braille display she was holding excitedly.

 

“I am glad my request has brought something of interest to your attention.” Qui-Gon smiled and sat down on the bed next to her. “I’d hate to take you away from your research, but have you found anything similar to what is happening to Obi-Wan and I?”

 

“Oh, Yes! let me see…” Muttering,   Tahl made her way out into the main room. She walked over to the table and started running her hands over different braille displays. “Here!” she exclaimed, picking up one. She pressed a few buttons on the side of the reader and the display turned from braille to standard. “Look at this.” Tahl handed the reader over to Qui-Gon.

 

_During the era of the Old Republic, strong bonds sometimes known as ‘life bonds’ were commonly undertaken by a committed Jedi couple. This bond was similar to the training bonds currently used in some ways, and very different in others. One could communicate through the bond much easier than a training bond, and unless one of the pair was actively shielding, emotions and thoughts often drifted through the bond. The bond was also useful in situations where one of the pair was injured or Ill, as they could draw on energy from the other to help recover._

 

“This sounds promising Tahl-” Qui-Gon started.

 

“Read on, there’s more,” she interrupted, sounding solemn.

 

_These bonds fell out of use, because in some cases, when one of the pair was severely injured, the other partner would often give energy to a point where they were in danger of dying themselves. In addition, when one of a pair died, the other often followed, due to shock generated by bond loss._

 

“Life bond…” The name was vaguely familiar, perhaps something Qui-Gon had heard long ago in the creche. One of the tales of coupled Jedi, valiantly fighting the last Sith War and dying in each other’s arms perhaps. Something romantic and sappy that he might have dismissed at such a young age. “Is there any way to verify it is a life bond?”

 

Tahl frowned, leafing through a stack of plast. “Not that I’ve found, yet. But I did find mention of there typically being a ceremony to form one, so there probably is a way.”

 

This made sense to Qui-Gon. Often, experienced Masters such as those on The Council were capable of seeing the Force strands that made up training bonds between Masters and Padawans, and the pair bonds used by co-assigned Knights. Presumably, if they could find what to look for, they might also be capable of identifying what his and Obi-Wan’s bond had become.

 

“I think this must be brought to the Council’s attention. This could be dangerous to either one of us while we are out on a mission. Is there any way of breaking it without hurting either party?” He asked.

 

Tahl shook her head “I haven't seen any mention of breaking the bond, but I’ll keep looking.”

 

It was at that moment that Qui-Gon felt Obi-Wan panicking through their new bond. He needed to get to him now. “Tahl, something is wrong with Obi-Wan.”

 

“Go.” Tahl said. “I’ll be here if you need me.”

 

Qui-Gon ran.

\------------

Obi-Wan sat in the quiet of the Star Room, watching the holos revolve slowly on their axis, Coruscant’s constellations rising and falling on a pre-programmed clock. It was soothing, tempering the panic flooding his veins. His breath came in hitches, a small improvement from the great heaving sobs that had echoed in the chamber just a few minutes earlier. His cheeks were still wet from the tears he had shed. It had not been since he was an Initiate, bullied by Bruck Chun, that Obi-Wan had fled to this room, emotions screaming. But he was not a youngling anymore, and his problems were not as easily dealt with.

 

He felt cold run down his spine just thinking of what Zan Arbor had done to him. He was a freak, this did not follow the natural order. He took a gasping breath to calm himself, and balled up his hand and wiped away the tear tracks on his face.  He was a Jedi, he _would_ control his emotions. He continued his breathing pattern, but every time he felt himself slipping into a meditative peace, he would remember his situation, and the hard won calm would shatter into a million pieces.

 

He felt violated. His body was not his anymore, Zan Arbor had changed something fundamental about himself without his knowledge, let alone his consent. The life of a Jedi did not allow one to own many things, but his body had been completely his. He had worked from a young age to achieve what he now had. He had grown with it, living through the awkward stages, and it’s achievements. He had been comfortable in his body, and now that was no longer so.

 

art by [lace fedora](http://lacefedora.tumblr.com/)

 

A word kept flitting around in the back of his head. He tried to chase it away but it just kept coming back. Rape. The first time he had been aware of it had been when he  was on Melida/Daan. He remembered a young girl with bruises on her legs and dead eyes. She had not been crying or screaming, but completely, eerily, silent. She would not speak to anyone for the first few days afterwards. She broke down a few days later. Obi-Wan came across her sobbing and Cerasi quietly talking to her. He quickly walked away and gave them their privacy. That was the first time, but not the last time he encountered it. He had just never thought of rape as something he would have to contend with himself. It wasn’t really the same thing, was it? But an insidious voice inside his head was saying that it was.  With a snarl, Obi-Wan slammed his fist into the floor, again and again until red started to drip from his aching hand. He went to slam it again, but someone grasped his hand and stopped him. He looked up to see his Master gently cradling Obi-Wan’s hand between his own. Obi-Wan looked away from him, flushing in embarrassment at Qui-Gon catching him in such an emotional state.

 

Qui-Gon slowly lowered himself to the floor beside Obi-Wan still cradling his hand. Obi-Wan felt his Master send a cool wave of healing energy over his hand and it throbbed slightly less. They sat for a moment in silence, surrounded by the beauty of the galaxy as Qui-Gon’s calm suffused the room and started to effect Obi-Wan. “Healer Lyonova told me.” The words filled the room and pressed down on Obi-Wan.. “He also told me that you asked if it was viable.” as Qui-Gon spoke, Obi-Wan put his head down and clenched his eyes shut. Someone else saying the words aloud made it more real, and he didn’t know if he could do this.

 

Qui-Gon didn’t speak, sitting next to Obi-Wan,still holding his hand. There were no questions or comments, just a warm presence that was nothing but accepting. Obi-Wan eventually found himself leaning into his Master’s side, his body heat comforting.  
  
“Master? What am I going to do?”

 

Qui-Gon sighed. “I think, Obi-Wan, that that depends entirely upon your point of view.”   
  
Words they each used often. Ones that Obi-Wan had never hated before this day.   
“ I tried to meditate on it,” Obi-Wan confessed, “But I couldn’t reach a meditative trance.”

 

Qui-Gon nodded in understanding. “This is far beyond anything you’ve ever needed to deal with, Padawan. Perhaps I could assist you?”

 

Obi-Wan hesitated, but acquiesced, drawing back a bit from his Master to settle into a proper lotus position. Qui-Gon resettled himself in front of him, still holding the Padawan’s hand.  
  
“Breathe with me, Obi-Wan. Feel my heartbeat.”

 

Obi-Wan allowed his eyes to drift shut, doing as his Master asked. Together, they stretched their minds into a meditative trance, reaching beyond the confines of the map room and away from Coruscant, towards the stars it depicted. In the joint meditation, he was aware of Qui-Gon’s every breath and heartbeat as well as his own. And at the edge of his senses, there was something else - barely there but growing stronger, a featherlight touch against his mind, leaving a barely discernable Force thread to follow.

 

He felt Qui-Gon’s mental nudge to follow it and, and grasped it with the Force, only to find that it lead nowhere, it’s origins within.  
  
No, not within. Not in the traditional sense.

 

 _‘Master, is that?’_   
_  
_ ‘I believe so, Obi-Wan.’ Qui-Gon’s mental voice sounded strange. Awed, perhaps.

 

 _‘But…it’s only six weeks old. How can it have a presence at six weeks old?’_   
  
_‘I have heard that the offspring of those who are strong in the force are often strong in the force themselves.”_   
  
Obi-Wan continued to prod at the fetus’ - at the _baby’s_ \- Force presence. He still feared what was to come, but here, connected to Qui-Gon and this child simultaneously, he felt at peace. Cowed by the strength in the Force of something that barely qualified as alive. He found that he didn’t want to let it go, he wanted to see it grow and evolve and exist.   
  
‘ _Master, would it be alright to keep it?_ ’   
  
Beyond the joint meditation, his hand was squeezed in response. ‘ _I will make sure of it, Obi-Wan.’_   
_  
_ ‘Would you help me?’

 

 _‘Padawan, I would be honored.’_ _  
_ _\----------------------_

  
Qui-Gon blotted dampness from his cheeks with the sleeve of his robe after Obi-Wan slipped from their joint meditation, finally succumbing to the exhaustion wrought by fear, panic and stress. He looked down at the young man who had fallen forward in sleep to lean against him, stunned by what he had felt in their meditation, proud of his Padawan’s willingness to look inside and find acceptance in himself. Strong in the Force, indeed.   
  
He finally released the hand he had been holding since his arrival in the map room, and lifted Obi-Wan into his arms, cradling him carefully against his chest. Rising to his feet, Qui-Gon carefully navigated out the doorway. He turned not towards the Healing wards though, deciding Obi-Wan would sleep and wake better on his own sleeping couch. Besides, he had research to do, and the libraries were easier to remotely access from the residential wing.

 

\-------

Qui-Gon woke at sixth hour like he usually did, despite a late night researching pregnancy information. Obi-Wan did not stir until tenth hour, and Qui-Gon had neither the heart nor desire to wake him, especially with his new knowledge that it had been at least a week since Obi-wan was not roused by morning sickness. When Obi-Wan stumbled out of his room, clothes sleep rumpled and hair a mess, Qui-Gon couldn’t help but smile. “Good Morning Padawan, I took the liberty of making breakfast this morning.” He gestured to the table which had two plates with omelets and Honey Melon on them. Obi-Wan made a face at  the food.

 

“I think I will pass Master, But thank you.” He said with a perfect bow.

 

“Obi-Wan, you need to eat, both for yourself and for the little one.” Obi-Wan looked like he was going to argue, but then took a couple quick steps forward and seated himself at the table. He brightened when he saw the cup of tea. He picked it up immediately and inhaled its scent before bringing it to his mouth to take a large sip. Qui-Gon almost laughed at the face he made.

 

Obi-Wan sat the tea down and looked at his Master, outraged. ”This has no caff in it!” He protested.

 

Qui-Gon smiled serenely “Caff Is not good for the baby’s development I’m afraid.”

 

Obi-Wan frowned, but did not complain further. He ate the Honey Melon without complaint, but barely touched his omelette. “Thank you for breakfast, Master.” Obi-Wan bowed and escaped into his room before Qui-Gon could say anything else. ‘ _Well at least he ate his fruit if nothing else_ ’. He thought.

 

Obi-Wan came back out a few minutes later, dressed and properly prepared for the day.

They made their way to the Healer’s ward in a silence that grew more tense the closer they got. Obi-Wan was obviously stressing over the visit. Qui-Gon placed a gentle hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and stopped him. “Obi-Wan, be at peace, I will be there with you the whole time.” He reassured his Padawan.

 

Obi-Wan nodded stiffly and took a deep breath. He strode quickly towards the door to the private room. They entered and Obi-Wan took a seat on the bed while Qui-Gon stood next to him. Soon after Healer Lyonova and Padawan Bant entered. Bant sent a timid smile in Obi-Wan’s direction and he returned it in kind.

 

“So I assume a decision was made?” Ezho asked.

 

Obi-Wan nodded. “I want to keep it,” he said softly. The Twi’lek healer did not look shocked, on the contrary it looked like he expected that response.

 

“Okay then, there are some things we need to go over. Bant, please get Padawan Kenobi’s weight, and pulse,” the Healer directed. Bant nodded and pulled Obi-Wan to the side of the room to get the numbers she needed. Qui-Gon could feel Obi-Wan’s tension through their bond the whole time Bant was examining him and tried to send comfort his way, but Obi-Wan was having none of it.  When they were done Obi-Wan sat back down on the bed and looked less anxious than he had before. Bant handed the results over to her Master and he frowned.

 

“First of all you have lost far too much weight, especially since you are meant to be gaining it right now.” Lyonova said sternly, scowling at the datapad he held. “I know you have had problems keeping up your weight up in the past, but at this time it is of the highest importance that you keep to a healthy weight. Otherwise there could be dire consequences for both you and the baby.”

 

“I’m not trying to lose weight, It’s just that every time I eat something it comes right back up.”  Obi-Wan began apologetically. “I feel nauseous almost all the time, and the smell of food just makes it worse.”

 

“Well there are some things we can try to ease your nausea. Eating smaller meals more frequently should help, and well as trying to drink fluids between meals.Also ginger generally helps with nausea as well.  Until you get to an acceptable weight, I would like you to take these supplemental drinks to get the calories you need.” Lyonova said running his hand down the data pad he was holding. “Bant will deliver them to your quarters when you’re low. And for the first trimester, I would like to see you in here every two weeks.”

 

Obi-Wan nodded in acknowledgement. “I can do that.”

 

“Here,”  Lyonova handed a data reader to Qui-Gon, ”Both you and Obi-Wan should read this. It will go through what you would be expecting in a normal pregnancy. As this is not a normal case, things will probably differ, but it is best to know the basics.”

 

Qui-Gon took the data reader from Lyonova. “Thank you Healer.”

 

Healer Lyonova turned to look at Obi-Wan again. “You are also not to do any strenuous exercises, Slower katas should be fine, but no lightsaber work. As such, I will also be requesting that the Council remove you both from the active duty rosters.”

 

Obi-Wan was clearly not happy about that, but he took it in stride and didn’t argue. He just continued looking at the healer attentively

 

“Also you need to drastically cut back on your caff intake, You should be able to have one cup a day,” the healer said, and Obi-Wan immediately brightened at that. “Other than that, You just need to watch your diet to make sure you are getting the nutrients you need.”

 

“And lastly, we can keep this under wraps for a while. Your abdominal muscles are strong and will keep the baby from showing for some time, but I do need to inform the Council, and around your second trimester, the rest of the temple will start to notice something is off.”

 

Obi-Wan steeled himself to speak. “I- I can tell the Council myself. Also I would like to try to keep things normal for as long as possible.” Obi-Wan had a feeling that his life was going to be anything but normal in the near future.

 

\--------------------------

Obi-Wan was visibly nervous as they waited in the hall outside the Council chamber. He set down the reader Lyonova had given him for the third time, too anxious to read more than a paragraph at a time. Qui-Gon pointedly ignored this behavior, looking positively serene in comparison. Obi-Wan wished he knew his Master’s secret. _He_ was positively vibrating. As the council doors opened, Obi-Wan took a final steadying breath. Qui-gon put a reassuring hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder and guided him in. The room was almost blinding, lit by the morning sun, compared to the dimness of the hallway they came in from in. As they walked to the center of the room, Obi-Wan looked around to find nearly the whole Council was present, all of them with their focus on him. He took his place a pace behind his Master and folded his arms into his sleeves as they both bowed to the Council.

 

“Well, are you, Obi-Wan?” Yoda asked.

 

“Yes Master, I am feeling much better.” Obi-Wan tried smiling but it felt awkward and forced.

 

“While that is good to hear, Padawan Kenobi, if that is true, why did Healer Lyonova pull you two off of active duty,” Mace asked solemnly, his face not betraying any emotion.

 

It took everything Obi-Wan had to keep his breathing under control. His mind was silent, he couldn't think of a single thing to say. Then a wave of calm came over him from his bond with his Master and he relaxed. “During my stay with Healer Lyonova, he discovered something unusual left over from my,” Obi-Wan paused for a moment, looking for a more diplomatic word “... stay with Jenna Zan Arbor.”

 

A few stray glances were thrown about the room, but the Council remained silent, waiting for him to continue.

 

“She...I…” he trailed off. Words wouldn’t come.  
  
“Perhaps you should start at the beginning, Padawan,” Mace suggested.

 

“Yes Master.” Obi-Wan collected his thoughts, taking another calming breath. “The first week, as I reported in my data bursts, was routine surveillance and slicing. I was able to determine that the missing force sensitives were kidnapped and follow a money trail to a facility where they were being held. Unfortunately, I also discovered the facility was run by Jenna Zan Arbor.”  
  
“I was captured while attempting to break in. There was an alarm system that was not listed in the blueprints - it alerted Zan Arbor’s security forces to my presence.”   
  
“I should hardly think you were captured so easily,” Micah Giett observed, the Combat Master well aware of Obi-Wan’s ability with a lightsaber.   
  
“No Master. I was heavily outnumbered. I was shot three times before I fell - in the abdomen, the shoulder, and the leg.” Obi-Wan breathed again, not wanting to lose himself in the memory. “When I woke, I had been drugged and restrained. I used the Force to begin fighting the sedatives and attempt escape, however Zan Arbor had programmed the security system to track my DNA. After I was...subdued, she brought out a Force inhibitor. She ordered me placed in a bacta tank, and that is the last clear thing I remember before my rescue.”   
  
“Do you have any idea how long you were out before you next woke?” Even Piell wondered, chin resting on his hand and appearing to be deep thought.   
  
“No Master. But I would presume it was several days, considering what Master Lyonova found. He thinks the drugs were obscuring it, that’s why they didn’t notice anything unusual on Ryloth.”   
  
“Padawan, stop dodging and tell us your illness, you will.”

 

Taken aback by Yoda’s directness, Obi-Wan gaped for a moment. And then it just spilled out. “I- I’m pregnant.”

 

In later years, Qui-Gon would joke to Obi-Wan that he wanted a holo of the Council’s reactions in that moment, priceless seconds of hilarity that they were. Yoda’s ears shot up in surprise, Micah was taken over with a severe coughing fit as he choked on his own spit, Mace succumbed to a colorful bout of language, and Adi Gallia looked ready to fall out of her chair.

 

The remaining Masters were in various states of shock, some with mouths hanging open. The mental arguing of the Council was so frantic and thick it was practically tangible, even to Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon as they stood quietly at the center of the room.  
  
It was Yoda that finally returned the chamber to order, distracting his fellow Councilors from their shock and arguments by hopping from his seat and shuffling across the tiled floor. He raised one clawed hand to rest on Obi-Wan’s belly, eyes closed as he felt with the Force. Obi-Wan found himself relaxing at the plain acceptance in the old troll’s touch.   
  
After a few moments, his eyes reopened and Yoda shuffled back to his seat. “Healthy. Strong in the Force, it is. Keeping it, you are?”   
  
“I would like to, Master,” Obi-Wan confirmed, nerves rising again, fear that the Council wouldn’t allow it.   
  
“Arrangements will need to be made. It’s been many years since a member of the order had a child. Even amongst those granted approval to hold relationships.” Eeth Koth commented.   
  
“It’s not unheard of though,” Mace agreed.

 

“Common children were, in my younger years,” Yoda reminded the room, “Had families, bonded pairs did.”  
  
“Well, we all know that’s no longer practiced.” Micah, this time. “Does that qualify as a correlation?”

 

“Are we really considering letting Padawan Kenobi, who is barely an adult himself, keep a child?” Oppo Rancisis huffed, clearly displeased with the entire situation.  


“This is hardly a situation that Padawan Kenobi has any control over. Unless you are suggesting he abort a child we can already feel in the Force?” Mace was ruthless, and Rancisis backed down, no reply at hand.

 

“Padawan, are you alright?” Qui-Gon rested a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder, concern on his face. Obi-Wan was certain he had gone paler than usual at Rancisis’ outburst. He nodded, but at the realization that the whole Council was once again watching him with hawk like intensity, gulped.  


“I’m...a little faint, maybe.”

 

The room seemed to soften at this, and to Obi-Wan’s amazement, Mace rose to his feet and ushered Obi-Wan to an empty chair, usually occupied by one of the absent members.

 

“Sit, Padawan. We hardly need you fainting on the chamber floor.”  
  
“It wouldn’t be his first time. He fainted while sparring.” Adi warned, causing Obi-Wan’s cheeks to flush bright red as he took the seat. Her tone was joking though, and Obi-Wan relaxed slightly when she sent a soft smile in his direction.   


“Settled, it is.” Yoda declared. “Keep his child, Obi-Wan will. Made with the creche, arrangements will be. Take missions, Obi-Wan will not. And the Council’s support, he will have.”

  
No one dared argue with Yoda, but the majority agreed with the troll, only Rancisis looking annoyed. There was another moment of silence as the Council shifted gears, back to the original mission report.

 

“Does Lyonova know how Zan Arbor was able to impregnate you, Padawan Kenobi?”

 

Obi-Wan looked across the room at Saesee Tiin’s question. “Not beyond her surgically inserting an artificial womb.”  
  
“Shouldn’t Ryloth have picked up on that?” the Iktochi Master wondered.   
  
“At that point, Padawan Kenobi would only have been a week or so along.” Adi reminded him. “The artificial womb may not have expanded enough to register as abnormal on the Rylothian scanners.”

 

“If I may,” Qui-Gon interjected, pausing until he received a nod to go ahead from Mace. “Lyonova believes the full extent of what was done to my Padawan is contained in the files we stole from Zan Arbor. Including the procedure, the child’s full parentage and any genetic issues that may be of concern, previous attempts -”

 

“Previous attempts?” Mace asked as the Council went silent again.

 

“We believe this is what she was kidnapping Force sensitives for. A few of the missing were raised at the Temple, but were never selected to become Padawans.” Obi-Wan swallowed. “I think she was experimenting on them, waiting for a Jedi to come along.”  
  
Several of the Council members looked unnerved.

 

“I believe Obi-Wan is correct.” Qui-Gon stated. “However, until that data is deciphered we only have theories.”

 

“Very well. We’ll make it top priority for the slicers.” Mace was already inputting the message into the screen on his armrest. ‘You two are off active duty until Lyonova says otherwise. But to keep you from going stir crazy, I will be making you available to help with tasks in and around the Temple.”

 

“Of course.” Qui-Gon said.

 

“I’m sure the creche would be willing to provide hands on training for your future, Padawan.” Mace remarked with smile that turned just noticeably in the direction of evil Mastermind.  
  
Obi-Wan bit back a groan. “I’m sure, Master.”

 

Most of the Council chuckled at this.  


“For Obi-Wan, any other questions?” Yoda asked of the chamber at large. When no one responded, the troll nodded. “Then adjourned, this session is.”

  


\--------

 

“Qui-Gon, a moment, may I have?” Yoda pulled his grand Padawan aside as they exited the Council room. Obi-Wan looked at his Master inquisitively, but Qui-Gon motioned for him to continue on. The Padawan nodded and left in the direction of the lifts, leaving Qui-Gon to follow Yoda out of the Council chamber and down the hall.

 

They walked in silence until they arrived at the sand gardens, one of Yoda’s favorite places to talk. Qui-Gon followed the Grand Master at a sedate pace, the tap of Yoda’s gimer stick echoing off the stone path. After a short stroll, they reached a bench that Yoda settled himself onto. Qui-Gon followed suit and made himself comfortable. He sat in silence, looking out upon the shifting garden sands until Yoda spoke.

 

“A change in your bond, with young Kenobi there has been.”

 

Qui-Gon startled. “Yes Master, but how could you tell?”

 

Yoda let out a rumbling laugh. “When as old as I, you are, obvious some things become.”

 

“It changed on Ryloth when we took off the inhibitor, Obi-Wan retreated into my mind, and when he left the bond had changed. Tahl thinks it is a life bond.”

 

“Not common anymore, are they,” Yoda said turning his gimer stick over in his hands. ”Out of favor, they have fallen. Died together, many bonded pairs did. Afraid to lose pairs, we have become.”  
  
“And here I was alway taught we should not fear death.” Qui-Gon teased.   
  
“Deaths of individuals, we fear not. But many deaths, the Order fears. Dwindle, our numbers do. Many more Jedi there were, when young I was.” Yoda’s voice was mournful.

 

“And life bonds were the cause of the numbers dropping?” Qui-Gon asked.

 

“Blame them, the Council did. Like Micah Giett, correlations they saw.” Yoda scoffed. “Out of favor life bonds fell. Though not banned, they are.”

 

Qui-Gon sighed “I am guessing that this is news that the Council will not be excited to hear.”

 

Yoda cackled and poked Qui-Gon with his gimer stick. “No say in this, the Council has. Happened it has.” Yoda sobered and turned his gaze towards the taller man. “But life bond this may not be. Examine it, may I?”

 

“I would much appreciate your insight, Master,” Qui-Gon said. He slid from his sitting position on the bench to kneel in front of the Grand Master, and waited for him to look at the bond. Yoda reached his hands, wrinkled by the years he had lived, out to touch either side of Qui-Gon’s head. Qui-Gon felt a familiar warmth wash over his mind, and let his shields down as Yoda pushed on them. He slid into Qui-Gon’s mind and caressed the bond, looking at it from all angles, before quietly retreating. Qui-Gon opened his eyes to meet Yoda’s scrutinizing gaze.

 

“Intriguing this is,” Yoda proclaimed “Not quite a life bond this is. Different, its formation is. Like nothing I have seen before this is.” Yoda settled his hands back onto his gimer stick.

 

‘It isn’t dangerous to either of us, is it Master?” Qui-Gon asked alarmed.

 

Yoda shook his head. “Danger, I sense not, but peculiar this is. Meditate I must, on what seen, I have.” Yoda shuffled down from his seat on the bench, and Qui-Gon rose to join him.

 

“I would be interested in hearing of anything else you perceive about this bond,” Qui-Gon said as he slowed his pace to match Yoda’s as they left the garden.

 

“Hear from me you shall. Until then, keep your padawan and yourself out of trouble, you shall.” Yoda said, enforcing his point with a whack with his gimer stick to Qui-Gon’s shins.  Qui-Gon winced and nodded as he followed the Grand-Master from the room.

  


\--------

 

 _‘Well that went about as well as it could have, all things considered,’_ Obi-Wan thought as he left the Council room, winding his way down the main hall back towards his rooms. Just as he thought he had left the Council behind him he heard someone call out his name.

 

“Obi-Wan.” He turned around to see Micah Giett rushing towards him.

 

“Master Giett, What can I do for you?” Obi-wan halted his progression and waited for the Combat Master to catch up.

 

“I wanted to speak with you before you left.” Giett started. “I know we are scheduled to continue your advanced lightsaber techniques class this next week, but obviously now you can’t do that. How about instead you help with the beginner’s classes, teach the crechelings katas.”

 

Obi-Wan smiled “That sounds fine Master Giett, when would I start?”

 

“You’re a good man, Obi-Wan. The class is starting next week on fifth day. I look forward to seeing you there.” Micah patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder as he walked by. He was a good ways down the corridor when he called over his shoulder, “And bring that Master of yours too! He could use a refresher on some of those forms, I think he’s getting rusty in his old age.”

 

“I will be sure to tell him you said that,” the Padawan called back and made his way back to is room. His spirits were lifted at the thought of having something productive to do. He was sure his spirits would be lifted even higher when he delivered Master Giett’s message to his Master and heard his response. He left the hall with an extra spring in his step.

  


\-----

 

Obi-Wan was not looking forward to his first visit with Healer Balaileia, he was in fact dreading it. He had been trying not think about it since Healer Lyonova first mentioned it. But yesterday he got a message on his commlink saying he was scheduled for today at eighth hour, and as he was most decidedly not like his Master, in that he actually followed orders, he was waiting outside of healer Baleliea’s office. He was a bit early, and he watched the chrono tick by the minutes to his appointment in dread. He was so focused on his feeling that he didn’t notice when the door actually opened.

 

“Padawan Kenobi?” A petite human with short red hair, and piercing grey eyes met his gaze. Unlike the majority of the people in the temple, she wasn’t wearing the typical jedi tunics. She was dressed in loose linen trousers and a fitted top, paired with a waist length vest. She smiled at him as she gestured him inside of her office. He stood up and hesitantly followed her into her office.

 

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it certainly wasn't this. The room was painted in mute shades of blue and the floor was a cool grey made out of stone. On the back wall there was a waterfall that fell into a pool in the floor, that upon closer inspection, held a number of Burra fish. Obi-Wan followed the woman in and took the seat she gestured at as she sat at the seat across from him. There was no fainting couch in the room, nor was there a huge desk with plast and pen. In fact, she didn’t have a computer or any plast on her. She was sitting in the chair with her feet tucked up underneath her, just watching him.

 

“Hello, Obi-Wan, I am Mind Healer Baleleia, but you may call me Nyatas if you wish.” The woman’s voice was warm and rich, and Obi-Wan found it calmed him somewhat. His muscles released some of the tension they were holding as her eyes met his. “Healer Lyonova gave me all the relevant medical files about your stay on Ryloth. What we are going to do together is go over what you faced in your time with Zan Arbor, what you face now, and find a way to deal with the outcome of that.”

 

“Really, I am _fine_ Healer Baleleia, I just overreacted when I went to the Healer’s ward the first time, I don’t need any help. Can’t you just write a note to the Council saying so?” Obi-Wan tried, one last time.

 

“I could, if you were actually fine. Tell me, Obi-Wan, do you think you will be able to go through nine months of visits to the Healer’s ward, leading up to a major surgery which you will probably have to be drugged for?” Nyatas asked him seriously.

 

That brought Obi-Wan up short. He had anticipated the repeated Healer’s visits, but even the thought of having to be drugged again, of being under the knife without knowing what was going on made his breathing shorter and his heart race. He clenched his hands together in his lap and tried to force himself to breathe as stars started to dance in his field of vision. From somewhere far away he felt a hand grab his and a voice say, “Obi-Wan, breath with me.” He tried to focus on the whooshing of her breath, but he felt disconnected from everything, like he was perceiving everything from underwater. Every time he went to slow his breathing, it would stutter and speed up again.

 

“Obi-Wan, I want you to put your hand on my chest so you can feel my breathing. Do you think you can do that?” Obi-Wan nodded and brought his hand up. He didn’t notice until then that it was shaking. He hesitantly brought it against Nyatas’ chest.

 

“Good job, Obi-Wan. Now just feel my chest rise and fall and try to match it.” She spoke softly and clearly. Obi-Wan followed her instructions, focusing on his breathing as she continued to murmur words he didn’t quite comprehend to him. After what felt like hours, Obi-Wan finally managed to calm his breathing. His focus slowly returned and he found himself on the floor of Healer Bailaiea’s office. He slowly brought his hand away from her chest, blushing in embarrassment from having it there in the first place.

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t --” Obi-Wan started to say, flustered.

 

“It’s okay Obi-Wan, Ezho told me about your panic attack. It looks like it wasn’t an isolated incident. So working on tactics to avoid and manage panic attacks will go on our list of things to work on as well,” Nyatas said calmly, interrupting Obi-Wan’s stuttering. “Now before we go on, are you comfortable here, or would you like to go back to sitting on the couch?”

 

She smiled at him, and it felt genuine, not full of pity at what she had just witnessed, and it made Obi-Wan relax. He cleared his throat and tried to compose himself. “I would like to go back to the chair please,” he said as he levered himself up. He staggered to his feet and held on to the back of his chair at the sudden movement upright, feeling light headed on top of the unsteadiness in his limbs he felt in the aftermath of the panic attack. Healer Baleleia looked concerned but did not step forward to help him, which Obi-Wan appreciated. After he felt sure of his footing he sat down.

 

The Mind Healer followed shortly after, crossing one leg over the other and looking Obi-Wan directly in the eyes. “After reading through your file, I thought that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy could help you, and after experiencing this panic attack with you I am even more sure that this is the right route to go. I know it sounds complicated, but all Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is, is learning to identify certain thought structures that are damaging and learning to reframe them. It can be hard to change your thoughts this way, and will take lots of practice, but I think it would be very beneficial to you. It has been used before to treat panic attacks.” She explained.

 

Obi-Wan watched her hands move as she spoke. She was a very expressive person, and focusing on her hands instead of her face helped him take in the words more calmly. When she was finished speaking. Obi-Wan took a moment to think. The panic attacks clearly weren’t a one time thing, and while he was off the active duty roster right now, he wanted to be back on it, and if he didn’t clear this problem up, he never would be. He took a deep breath before he opened his mouth “Okay. I want to try it,” he said with conviction. “I mean if you think it will help …” He trailed off.

 

Healer Bailaiea smiled blindingly at him. “I really think will help you Obi-Wan. You trying is the first step forward here.” She patted his knee comfortingly. “Now the first thought I want you to work on is your belief that you don’t need help. That isn’t true, we refer to thoughts like this as a Cognitive error, and we need to work on restructuring that.”

  
Obi-Wan squared his shoulders and focused on what Nyatas was saying. If he was going to do this, he was going to give it his all, and he was damn-well going to succeed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to PunsBulletsandPointythings for the beta!

Qui-Gon struggled out of bed at dawn. He took a few moments for himself in ‘fresher, and then paused at the door of Obi-Wan’s bedroom on his way to the balcony for meditation. His Padawan appeared to be sound asleep, one foot hanging off his sleep couch where he lay on his side, cocooned as well as he could be under a blanket that had mostly slid off, pooling on the hardwood floor. Qui-Gon didn’t have the heart to wake Obi-Wan from what looked like good, restful sleep, not with the pregnancy difficulties he had been having. 

 

Lyonova’s instructions hadn’t helped all that much with Obi-Wan’s morning sickness. He was able to eat small meals throughout the day, but the number of foods Obi-Wan could eat without suffering nausea was severely limited. He was also awake in the wee hours of the morning six days out of seven, camped in the ‘fresher for hours at a time. The Padawan insisted that Qui-Gon need not rise to keep him company, but Qui-Gon often found himself lying awake in bed, sending Obi-Wan waves of comfort through their bond for a good hour before allowing himself to succumb to sleep.

 

It was taking a toll on him, but the effect on Obi-Wan was staggering. The Padawan had never been a voluntary early riser, but now he would rarely make it to 22nd hour and would often sleep till the 10th hour, sometimes later depending on how long he spent retching in the pre-dawn hours. There were constantly circles under his eyes, even when he was well rested, and Lyonova was considering using intravenous nutrition to keep Obi-Wan at a healthy weight, the morning sickness preventing him from doing much more than hold his current weight. There were also difficulties meditating, Obi-Wan’s fluctuating pregnancy hormones and month long separation from the Force sometimes making it difficult for him to immerse himself. On the roughest days, Qui-Gon or a Padawan-free member of the Council would jointly meditate with Obi-Wan at Bailaileia’s request. Having a stronger presence nearby to guide him helped reduce his stress, Obi-Wan had admitted, and that was something Lyonova and Bailaileia both had insisted was imperative to his continued health.

 

However, despite the trouble, Obi-Wan seemed happy. Even now, in sleep, Qui-Gon could feel the Padawan’s contentment through their bond. It was similar to when Obi-Wan helped teach the Younglings their katas each afternoon in the salles with one of the council. Even the teasing of the older Padawans about his absence from their advanced lightsaber course did not depress Obi-Wan very long.

 

Qui-Gon favored the sleeping young man with a smile and carefully gathered the blanket to re-tuck it around the Padawan. Obi-Wan snuffed appreciatively in his sleep, and Qui-Gon resisted the urge to card his fingers through the Padawan’s hair. Instead he exited the bedroom and pulled the door shut, stepping onto the balcony for his own morning meditation.

 

Before he could settle down to start, his holoprojector started beeping, indicating a call. He made his way over to the unit and answered the call. The image formed to show his old Master Yan Dooku. The image flickered, most likely unstable because Yan was on one of the Outer Rim missions that he favored. Qui-Gon sat himself in front of the holo display “Master Dooku, it is a pleasure to see you. We seem to keep missing each other at the Temple.”

 

“Which is a shame, as I hear your young Padawan could use some guidance.” Dooku was impeccably dressed as usual, not a speck of dirt was to be seen on his pristine clothing, despite the no doubt dusty Outer Rim planet he was stationed on.

 

“So you have heard about his condition.” 

 

“Yes, Qui-Gon, I am part of the Council,and they felt the need to inform me,” Yan replied derisively. “And frankly I am shocked at the Council’s decision. Obi-Wan should not carry this child to term. He is at a very delicate part of his training, and any delays are not to be borne.”

 

Qui-Gon’s lips thinned in anger and he clenched his fists. “With all due respect, Master Dooku, that it not your decision to make. The Council has already approved and Obi-Wan’s decision will not be swayed.”

 

“Really Qui-Gon, I don’t know why you stand for this nonsense.” Dooku sneered, his voice dripping with disdain.  “But I suppose if he is going through with this the Creche will at least benefit from another Initiate that is strong in the Force. How far is he along, a month and a half? In eight and a half months he can give the child over and get on with his training,” Dooku drawled.

 

Qui-Gon was having trouble releasing his emotions to the Force. His old Master was making him extremely angry and he didn’t know how much longer he could keep his calm. ”Yan, Obi-Wan wants to have a part in the child’s life. He does not just want to give it away and go on with his life as if nothing has happened.”

 

Dooku looked shocked. “And you approve of this?”

 

“Yes, I do,” Qui-Gon affirmed, his face impassive and not showing the roiling emotions underneath.

 

Dooku looked extremely displeased. “I told Yoda to dissolve this mysterious bond that has formed. Your emotions are being influenced by it.”

 

Qui-Gon’s face slackened in shock. “Yoda told you about the bond?”

 

“He wanted my opinion on what type of bond it could possibly be and my help researching. It looks like I was right and this bond could be dangerous.”

 

“We have no evidence that this is anything but beneficial Dooku --” Qui-Gon started defensively.

 

“Beneficial?” Yan interrupted, “You are sharing thoughts and emotions, this could be a distraction in missions, and definitely creates attachment.”

 

“Not everyone derides attachment as you do, Master. It has been proven that a Jedi can balance duty and feelings and both Obi-Wan and I have passed the required tests for that.” Qui-Gon’s voice had actually risen now, his anger was not just simmering below the surface anymore.

 

“Never mind attachment, Obi-Wan is constantly drawing energy from you? How is that not dangerous?”

 

The sound of ceramic smashing on the ground echoed in the room, abruptly halting their argument. Qui-Gon spun around. His eyes flew from Obi-Wan,who was pale and shaking, down  to the shattered fragments of the mug on the floor.

 

“I— I just wanted to get some tea. I’m sorry I interrupted, I need to-” Obi-Wan dashed back into his room and shut the door.

 

Qui-Gon turned and glared at Dooku. “I need to go deal with Obi-Wan, but this conversation is not over,” he said and turned off the holoprojector before his old Master could reply.

  
  


\---------

“Obi-Wan?”

 

The Padawan in question ignored the knock and voice at his door, not wanting to speak with Qui-Gon Jinn, afraid that some part of his master agreed with Master Dooku, no matter what he had heard. Obi-Wan couldn’t help but wonder if this bond Dooku had mentioned was the reason Qui-Gon had so readily agreed to help him through the pregnancy, to aid him in future support. Certainly they had gotten along roaringly in recent years and worked well together, but Obi-Wan couldn’t help but remember the rocky start to his apprenticeship, Qui-Gon’s near refusal to accept him as his Padawan, and their parting on Melida-Daan. Deep within, there was a long lingering insecurity that Qui-Gon only continued to train Obi-Wan because the Council had required it.

 

Obi-Wan looked up from where he sat on his sleep couch, back pressed into the corner of the small bedroom when the door slid open, not noticing the tears running down his face.

Qui-Gon’s face, already concerned, creased further into blatant worry and fretting.

 

“Obi-Wan, can we talk?” When he received no response, The Master approached slowly, carefully, setting himself on the sleep couch next to his Padawan, 

 

“You shouldn’t believe what Dooku says,” Qui-Gon continued, reaching out to wipe the tears from Obi-Wan’s face with his tunic sleeve. 

 

Startled, Obi-Wan jerked his head back. “I don’t want your pity!” he exclaimed, and before Qui-Gon could summon a response, he was on his feet and out the door, his Master left stunned in his wake.

 

Go after him! The Force screamed at Qui-Gon, and he bolted to his feet, making an undignified scramble to get to the main room before his Padawan could leave. He nearly panicked at the sight of his hand on the door.

 

“Obi-Wan, stop!”

 

To Qui-Gon’s great relief, the Padawan froze and turned slowly back to face their quarters, face stormy. The Master was quite nearly caught off guard, but quickly put words together.

 

“Obi-Wan, why do you think I pity you?”

 

“Why else would you want to help me? Are you going to say this ‘mysterious bond’ Master Dooku mentioned doesn’t exist and isn’t influencing you?” Obi-Wan demanded. Qui-Gon closed his eyes briefly, shoving aside a pang of sorrow at the Padwan’s turmoil.

 

“No, the bond exists,” Qui-Gon said quietly. This was not how he had wanted Obi-Wan to find out. “And yes, it draws energy from me. But it is not influencing my emotions, at least not towards you.”

 

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows had knitted together as he considered. When he finally spoke, he was barely audible. “Does the Council share Dooku’s opinion?”

 

“Some do,” Qui-Gon admitted. “They are a small minority.”

 

Obi-Wan drew in a shuddering breath and turned back to the door. “I just...I can’t right now.”

 

This time when he left, Qui-Gon didn’t call after him.

\----------

 

Mace Windu gave up on his stern Master facade after standing in front of the Padawan looking imposing for a full three minutes without being acknowledged. It was a bad day when he was drawing on the Force and Obi-Wan Kenobi didn’t notice.

 

“Kenobi?”

 

His head moved slightly, enough for Mace to identify an eyeball. 

 

“Master Windu?” The words were muffled by Obi-Wan’s knees where his head rested.

 

“Are you alright, Padawan? I don’t usually see you awake this early, and certainly not tucked into an obscure corner of the Fountain Room.”

 

“Nauseous.” There was a long pause.

 

“And I argued with Master Jinn,” the muffled voice admitted. Mace thought it sounded a bit ashamed. “I walked in on him arguing with Master Dooku, and he thinks Qui-Gon is being influenced, and what if he’s right? I don’t want pity and I don’t want anyone to feel like they have to help me and—”

 

Obi-Wan halted his panicked rambling, his whole body tensing as it finally sunk in that he was vomiting words and to whom. Mace bent and rested a hand on his shoulder and the Padawan stirred, lifting his head enough that Mace could see his entire face.

 

“Breathe, Obi-Wan,” he encouraged, as he settled himself on the ground in front of Kenobi. “You overheard Yan and Qui-Gon discussing your bond with Qui-Gon?”

 

A miserable nod was the only response. He had inferred correctly then, and Mace considered the right approach.

 

“Yes, your bond has changed since your return from Ryloth. It is being diligently researched by Master Yoda and Master Tahl, as well as Qui-Gon. They don’t yet know what caused it to change, but they have already confirmed that it is not influencing Qui-Gon’s emotions, despite what Dooku thinks. Yoda in particular is certain that these changes could not have occurred if Qui-Gon did not care greatly for you to begin with.”

 

Obi-Wan looked troubled by this and Mace frowned, concerned. “Is there a reason you think Qui-Gon wouldn’t care?”

 

“I...he didn’t want me to begin with.”

 

Mace hadn’t expected that response. The entire Council had thought that issue resolved years ago. But Masters Lyonova and Bailaileia had warned them that things that seemed trivial or put to rest might flare with Obi-Wan’s hormones. He treaded carefully, thinking over his next words before speaking them.

 

“When you met, Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon was still hurting from Xanatos’ betrayal. He was as afraid of being hurt again as you were of not being chosen. But over time you proved yourself loyal, and beholden to morals I’m not sure Xanatos ever knew existed.When Qui-Gon felt your training bond cut off when you were on Ryloth, Tahl very nearly had to restrain him to stop him stealing a ship to go find you. Quinlan said he barely slept on the trip out. You have become the single most important person in Qui-Gon Jinn’s life. That is why he is helping you without question.”

 

Kenobi’s eyes had widened as Mace spoke. Many Masters, including Qui-Gon, often hid the true extent of their feelings for their Padwans. Mace knew the shock Obi-Wan’s signature held, had experienced it himself when he felt his own Master’s pride upon passing his trials. He strongly suspected that both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan harboured emotions that went far beyond that, but knew instinctively that neither had come anywhere near examining them. He also suspected that no one had told Kenobi of his Master’s sleep deprived and anxiety ridden condition upon his rescue, and the Padawan would have been too out of it to notice.

 

“I probably owe him an apology,” Obi-Wan admitted glumly.

 

“Maybe a small one.” Mace smiled. “I think you should also talk about these old fears of yours with Master Bailaileia. I’m sure she has some exercises that will help you and Qui-Gon both feel more at ease with the situation.”

 

“Yes, Master.” Obi-Wan agreed, dejected.

 

“Good. Now that we’ve cleared that up, would you like to meditate with me?”

 

Mace was surprised with a scant shake of of the head before Kenobi shot to his feet and disappeared into some nearby bushes. Mace chuckled and shook his head once the sound of retching drifted back to his spot. The Padawan had said he was nauseous.

  
  


\------

  
  
  


The training salle was filled with younglings ages five to eight sitting in the traditional lotus position, listening to Master Giett explain the foundations of shii cho and how the flowing water kata was used in it. These younglings were just about ready to pick up their first training sabers, and they knew it. They were vibrating with excitement. There was one child, a Kiffar girl who was ahead of her age mates. She was six years old, and keeping up with the eight year olds.. Unlike all the others, she sat calmly, watching Micah with a deep focus. She had caught his attention during the last class. Even though she was the younger, she was the first to master the Winds of Change kata. Micah called for the children to get up and start trying the kata themselves. The sound of little bodies moving echoed around the room as the children stood up and started following Micah in his movements. The younglings worked through the kata at half pace and Obi-Wan moved through the room  helping the children adjust their stances and show them the proper movements. He noticed the young girl, he thought her name was Morine, kept sneaking looks at him, so he walked over to her, intending to find out what she wanted.

 

“Is there something I can help you with young one?” Obi-Wan crouched down to her level and asked.

 

Morine blushed. “No Padawan Kenobi,” she murmured, shuffling her feet in embarrassment.

 

“Are you sure?” Obi-Wan asked, “Because I couldn't help but notice you sneaking looks at me every few minutes.”

 

Even though it didn’t seem possible, the Kiffar girl’s blush deepened. “It’s just …” She trailed off, trying to find the right words. “You feel funny.”

 

Obi-Wan frowned,  puzzled. “Funny?”

 

Morine looked thoughtful. “In the Force. You feel like, like, there is more there.”

 

Obi-Wan was shocked. No one had mentioned being able to sense his condition through the Force; for that matter, it had taken him quite some effort for him to sense it himself. That this six year old could sense it already was astounding. She must be incredibly in tune with the Living Force. He contemplated her a second before answering. “Let’s just say I’m just overflowing with the Force right now.” 

 

Morine looked at him dubiously, but seemed to accept the answer. 

 

“Now, Let’s turn our focus towards this kata. I think your movements are a bit off here.” Obi-Wan redirected her attention, taking her left leg in his hands “Do you feel the difference? This is how it is supposed to feel.” He asked as he moved her.

 

She bit her lip and shook her head, looking embarrassed. “That’s okay, we’ll go over it until you get it right.” Obi-Wan said, smiling up at her. They moved through the kata a few more times until Morine could follow in sync with him.

 

She beamed at him when she did it right, flinging her little arms around Obi-Wan’s waist. “Thank you Padawan Kenobi!” She chirped.

 

Obi-Wan patted the top of her head  and said, “Why don’t you call me Obi-Wan.”

 

Obi-Wan thought her smile couldn’t get any bigger, but apparently he was wrong. “Okay Obi-Wan!” Morine agreed, then abruptly turned and ran off to join the rest of her class as they filed out to return to the Creche. Obi-Wan watched them leave, feeling content. Distracted by thoughts of the days lesson, he was surprised when Siri-Tachi walked into the salle.

  
  
  


“Obi-Nobi! I’ve been looking for you everywhere! What are you doing in here?” she asked, making her way over to him.

 

“I was helping Master Giett with his class,” Obi-Wan replied.

 

Siri scrunched up her face and gave him a look of distaste. “You, my dear, are a teacher’s pet.”

 

“I am no such thing,” he declared, mock offended. “Master Giett just recognized my superior skill with a lightsaber and thought it would benefit the next generation to learn from my example.”

 

Siri couldn’t keep a straight face and snorted. “Come on Obi-Wan, let’s go get lunch. I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” She reached out and linked her arm through his, pulling him out of the salle and down the hall.

 

Obi-Wan nodded and let himself be dragged along. The prospect of food actually sounded good for once. His stomach had been quite tame today, and he had managed to keep down all his meals, which made him hopeful that this whole morning sickness thing was over with.

 

“So when are you going to join us in our advanced lightsaber tactics class again?” Siri asked, as they made their way along the corridors of the Temple, passing by statues of long dead Jedi.

 

Obi-Wan made a noncommittal noise.“When Healer Lyonova lets me off of medical restrictions, I guess,” 

 

They walked into the bustling mess hall and grabbed trays as they got in line for food. Obi-Wan was pleased to note that the smells were not bothering him today, and for once, he was actually hungry. The two friends made their way through the line, serving themselves as they went and sat down at an empty table. Obi-Wan spooned the Fantazi mushrooms onto the bread he had grabbed along with some Roadian eel. It all smelled divine and the bite he took had him moaning in pleasure. It had been too long since he had eaten a meal that he actually enjoyed instead of choking it down on an upset stomach.

 

Siri made a noise of repulsion as she watched him eat. “That is disgusting, Obi-Wan. Seriously, you are such a freak of nature when it comes to your food.”

 

Obi-Wan froze; the bite that he just swallowed felt like durasteel in his gut and suddenly he wasn't so hungry. _ Freak _ . The word echoed around in his head. He set his food down, pushed his plate aside, and stood. “I’m not hungry,” he stated abruptly and turned to walk quickly towards the exit of the mess hall, ignoring Siri’s inquiries as he left. His thoughts were swirling in his mind, like two combatants in a fast paced kata. All he could think about was what people would say when they found out. Obi-Wan strode down the hall blindly, not sparing a glance for anyone he passed. He just kept his head down, struggling to control his breathing.He finally ended up in an unused classroom and leaned against the wall, hiding his face in his hands. He thought of what he blurrily remembered from his time with Zan Arbour and found his legs could no longer support him adequately. He slid down the wall, pulling his knees to his chest. Burying his face in them, Obi-Wan gave it up as a bad day and surrendered himself to a long cry. Just as his first tears started to fall, he heard someone call his name.

 

“Obi-Wan, oh my gosh Obi-Wan, are you okay?” Siri asked, voice heavy with concern. Obi-Wan looked up at her and couldn’t keep it in and started to truly cry. Siri knelt down next to Obi-Wan, looking near panicked. “Obi-Wan, what’s the matter, what did I say?”

 

“You were right, I am a freak!” Obi-Wan burst out between hiccuping sobs.

 

“Obi, you can’t believe that; you know I didn’t mean it,” She soothed, coming in closer and wrapping her arms around him.

 

“It’s true! Zan Arbor, she.. she…” he stuttered, and then trailed off, not able to speak it aloud.

 

Siri looked angry now. “What did she do Obi-Wan?” she asked in a low voice.

 

Obi-Wan pushed her away,, finally meeting  her eyes. “ Look at me with the Force,” he said, somewhat steadier.

 

Siri-Tachi moved back a little and focused on him completely. She frowned for a minute.

 

“What is that? Do you have some sort of parasite?” 

 

Obi-Wan let out a sound, halfway between a laugh and a sob. “You could look at it that way.” He swiped his arm over his eyes, trying to wipe away the tears that were running down his face.

 

“Obi-Wan, what’s wrong, I don't understand,” she started, frustration tinging her voice, but Obi-Wan interrupted her.

 

“I’m pregnant,” he blurted out, looking anywhere but at Siri’s face. He missed the shock that crossed it.

 

“What—I— How?!” she demanded.

 

“We don’t know what she did exactly yet. They haven't decrypted the data we got from her lab, when they…” Obi-Wan broke off for a moment, looking for the right word. He  settledon, “found me.” They sat in a silence that seemed to stretch on for a lifetime while Siri tried to digest that information. Obi-Wan took deep centering breaths and tried to stop crying. Then, suddenly Siri rushed toward him and pulled him into her arms.

 

When she spoke her voice was choked with a mix of anger and sadness. “Oh Obi-Wan.” He hesitantly put his arms around her as well and leaned into her embrace. Eventually Obi-Wan managed to stop crying and Siri-Tachi ended their embrace moving to sit down next to him on the floor. “So you’re keeping it?” she asked without preamble.

 

Obi-Wan hesitated, thinking of all the ways she could react to his answer. Scenarios rushed through his head, making him dizzy. Closing his eyes, he breathed in slowly, and then let the air out in a single, steady rush. He was alright. he could do this. “Yes”. He said, voice firm, bracing himself for her reaction.

 

“Okay. Just let me know what I can do for you. It will be hard doing this, and I want to be there for you.” Siri smiled at him brightly and grasped his hand in hers, squeezing it . Obi-Wan felt a huge weight lifted off his chest. Sirii, his friend, his peer, knew and was not rejecting him. A wave of happiness buoyed his mood.

 

“Thank you, Siri,” he murmured, voice thick with emotion.

 

Siri looks confused. “For what?”

 

Obi-Wan beamed at her. “For just being you, Siri.”

  
  


\-------------

  
  


“I want to start having my check ups in the Healer’s ward,” Obi-Wan said firmly, meeting Nyatas Bailaiea’s gaze unwaveringly.

 

She looked at him, assessing. “I don’t think you are quite ready for that yet.”

 

“I need to get over this. A Jedi can’t be afraid to enter the Healer’s ward.” He said angrily, and waved his hands in an agitated manner. “If I can’t even enter the Healer’s ward, what good am I to the Jedi?”

 

Healer Bailaiea folded her arms and looked at Obi-Wan. “That is all or nothing thinking, and it is not healthy. You know you have been through something traumatic, and this is a normal response. We are making progress, it just isn’t as fast as you would like.”

 

Obi-Wan deflated some, and started to play with the hem of his tunic, deliberately looking away from the Mind Healer. “I haven’t even progressed enough to where I can attune myself to the Force long enough to meditate by myself. I’m still relying on the Masters like some crecheling.”

 

“I actually have some ideas about steps we can take to remedy both of your problems,” Nyatas said smoothly. Obi-Wan lifted his head and looked at her hopefully. “I think you should go pick up your friend Bant from the Healer’s ward every day for lunch. You can go into the ward to get her if you are feeling up to it, but if you are anxious, you can comm her from outside.” Nyatas looked at him inquiringly. “If you feel comfortable enough, you might even ask Master Qui-Gon, or your friend Padawan Tachito go with you at first.”Obi-Wan blanched at the thought of asking even more from his Master, he already did so much for him. He wanted to be viewed as something close to an equal. If Qui-Gon kept seeing him as a child to be protected, he would never see him in a different light. “I will be fine by myself,” he insisted. He had to be. He  _ needed _ to get over this.

 

Healer Bailaiea looked doubtful. “Obi-Wan, I know you want to get over this, but going further than you are ready for is just going to set you back in the long run. You need to start reframing your thoughts. Asking for help doesn’t make you weak.” Obi-Wan just stared at her, a stubborn look on his face. ”Look at it this way, was Master Tahl weak when she needed help adjusting to life without her sight?” She said.

 

“Of course not, Master Tahl was brave and forged her way into a new way of living. I would never think to call her weak.” Obi-Wan insisted.

 

“Then why is your case any different?” Nyatas asked her face relaxed, her eyes fixed on Obi-Wan.

 

“I.. It’s just…” Obi-Wan struggled for an explanation, but his traitorous brain was giving him nothing.

 

“You can’t think of an answer because there is no difference, Obi-Wan. You were both victims of your situations. It took Master Tahl time to adjust and deal with what happened to her, and it will be the same with you. Tahl relied on those around her to help her, and they gladly complied until she was ready to stand on her own two feet again. You need to learn that it is safe for you to do the same.” Healer Bailaiea soothed.

 

Obi-Wan took a calming breath. It was difficult for him to accept help, but he could see the merit of her argument. “Siri would probably be willing to go with me,” he finally relented.

 

Bailaiea shifted in her seat, bringing her legs up underneath her. “As for your problem meditating, I think I might have a solution for that too.” There was a spark of excitement dancing in her eyes, and Obi-Wan felt dubious at the sight of it. “I think you should lead the younglings in the Creche in their meditation practice.”

 

Obi-Wan was stunned and didn’t know how to react for a moment. “How am I supposed to teach them when I am having such trouble myself?” he asked, bewildered.

 

Nyatas just smiles at him, confident in his ability to fulfil her request. “I think that in the right environment, you will be able to connect more easily with the force, and I think amongst the younglings is just the place to start. You will only be teaching them the basics, and I think you can do this.”’

 

Obi-Wan was unsure of himself, but Healer Bailaiea’s confidence in him bolstered him. “I guess it’s worth a try.”

\----------------------

By the time Yoda found him, Qui-Gon was surrounded by the slag of a dozen practice drones in the salles. The old troll stared at the taller Master’s back from the entryway, his ears quirked with displeasure at the scene before him.

 

“Angry with me, you are,” he stated, and Qui-Gon spun abruptly in surprise. Yoda chortled when the human Master jumped at the sting of the last drone, punishment for allowing Yoda to distract him. The troll waved a hand, deactivating the drone, and turned to stomp back into the hall. 

 

“Walk with me, you will.”

 

Wisely, Qui-Gon followed his command, deactivating his saber and following Yoda from the salles. Easily catching the troll with his long strides, he fell into the spot customarily taken by a Padawan, a step behind and to the right. Yoda hmphed in approval, but did not speak, instead electing to lead Qui-Gon on a roundabout path through the Temple to his quarters. The whole trip, the troll could feel Qui-Gon’s anger simmering. 

 

“Tea, you shall make,” Yoda declared as he waved the door shut. Qui-Gon drew in a calming Yamalsa breath and bowed to the troll before setting about to prepare the ordered tea.

 

“Yes, Master.” 

 

“Silpa.”

 

“Of course, Master.”

 

The old troll settled himself onto his favorite cushion, resting his gimer stick against his low table. The pair sat in self imposed silence until the shrill whistle of the tea kettle filled the air and Qui-Gon pulled it from the stove, resting it on a trivet after pouring them each a bowl.Yoda sipped the silpa, deeming it acceptable before speaking.

 

“Upset, your Padawan is.”

 

“Yes Master. He overheard, a...discussion with Master Dooku,” Qui-Gon explained. “Was it really necessary to inform him? His opinions on relationships and feelings and attachments are both predictable and upsetting, even to those of us who aren’t familiar with his views.”

 

“Member of the Council he is. A report, he is allowed. This angers you, yes?”

 

“Yes.” They each pointedly ignored Qui-Gon’s failure to add the honorific ‘Master’.

 

“Afraid you are,” Yoda accused. “Afraid truth, Dooku’s words carry.”

 

Qui-Gon sipped at his tea, delaying. Was he afraid? Had he he denied truth in Dooku’s words to Obi-Wan that morning simply because he wanted them to be false? Perhaps. If anyone could know it would be Yoda. He sighed, letting go of his anger.

 

“Do you think Dooku is right? Is the bond influencing me?”

 

Yoda settled his bowl on the table and climbed to his feet, clomping around the table with gimmer stick in hand to peer into Qui-Gon’s eyes.

 

“Hmm, influence... yes. Much influence.” 

 

Qui-Gon frowned at this, only to flinch away in pain as Yoda struck him on the head with his gimer stick. Willfully restraining his urge to feel the newly forming lump at his temple, Qui-Gon waited for more, traitorous eyes watering.

 

“Influenced by feelings already, you were. Changed that, the bond has not.”

 

“But Master, it now transfers energy without conscious effort. Could this not be dangerous?”

 

“Hmm, yes. Your point I see. Feel weakened you do.” The troll nodded knowingly, and Qui-Gon knew Yoda was smirking on the inside.

 

“Well, no. But on missions— “ 

 

“Planning to go on missions are you?” Qui-Gon fell into silence, waiting for the troll to answer his own questions. 

 

“Staying on Coruscant you are. No missions to worry about, there are.”

 

“And after the birth?”

 

“Very small, the energy transfer is. If continue it does, to endanger you, severely injured your Padawan would be. Bigger concerns, you would have.”

 

Qui-Gon bowed his head, conceding the point.

 

“Master, is this a common side effect of life bonds?”

 

“Not common, it is,” Yoda replied. “But happens, it does. Worry, you should not.”

 

“Yes, Master,” Qui-Gon replied, picking up his abandoned tea bowl and draining it.

 

“Examine your feelings you should,” Yoda suggested as he rose. “Less they can influence, when familiar with them, you are.”

 

“Yes, Master. I shall endeavor to meditate on the matter.” He bowed to the troll before excusing himself to seek out his Padawan, thinking he might stop at the Room of a Thousand Fountains to do just that.

  
  


\--------------

Today just went from bad to worse. He was with Healer Lyonova for his bi-weekly check up. Ezho made a sound of disgruntlement as Obi-Wan stepped on the scale. He knew he had been losing weight, but the number on the scale was a shock to him, and he knew it wasn’t good. Bant took note of his weight and then guided him to the bed in the corner. 

 

“Bant please go get an IV for me.” Lyonova asked her, and Obi-Wan’s stomach sank. That was not what he had wanted to hear. “You have lost quite a bit of weight in the last two weeks. You are going to need to up the supplement drinks and if that doesn’t help, you will need to have IV’s with supplements regularly. You really need to eat more Padawan Kenobi,” the Healer lectured.

 

“I can’t keep anything down!” Obi-Wan shouted. “Do you really think I would do this on purpose!?! I hate this!” Obi-Wan pulled his legs up onto the bed and into his chest and quieted. “I really do hate this.” He choked back a sob, refusing to cry in front of the healer. There was silence in the room, and Obi-Wan belatedly realized he was shaking, a definite side affect of his angry outburst. 

 

Healer Lyonova walked over to where Obi-Wan sat and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know this is hard for you, that this is something beyond your control, but you need to keep trying. If not for your sake than for the baby’s.”

 

Obi-Wan looked up at Ezho and uncurled from himself a bit, the shaking lessening as he let go of his anger. “I really am trying, but every time I eat something, it just comes back up later. Nothing seems to be working.”

 

“Which is why we are going to try the IV for now. Hopefully, as your pregnancy progresses your nausea will go down,” the healer said. Bant came back into the room at this point pulling an IV stand with a bag hanging from it behind her. “Bant, please set up the IV.” he instructed.

 

Bant brought the stand to a stop next to Obi-Wan and tied a tourniquet around his arm and searched for a vein that would work. When she found one she slid the IV catheter in and connected it to the IV and started the drip. Obi-Wan watched as the liquid slowly slid down the tube and enter the iv catheter and disappear into his arm. He was so focused on staring and thinking about his miserable lot in life, that he was startled when Bant came back and draped a blanket around him. He looked up at her and smiled in thanks. She smiled back and rested her webbed hand on his shoulder for a moment, showing her support. After she left, Obi-Wan snuggled into the blanket and tried to will the nausea away he felt.

  
  


\--------------

 

Qui-Gon entered the room that the Healer’s had been using to treat Obi-Wan and saw the man curled up in under a blanket, with only his left arm visible where the IV was attached at his wrist. Qui-Gon felt nothing through the bond he and Obi-Wan shared and smiled at the sleeping form. He made his way to the bed and sat in a chair that had been placed next to it. He leaned forward and brushed his hand through Obi-Wan’s hair. The Padawan turned over, opening bleary eyes, and then blinking several times to clear them of sleep residue.

 

“Master?” Obi-Wan murmured, voice heavy from sleep. Qui-Gon was surprised to see the smile on Obi-Wan’s face. If he were in the Padawan’s shoes, he would not be happy to see himself. But in his sleep addled haze, Obi-Wan had apparently forgotten their argument. Obi-Wan rubbed his eyes the hand the IV was attached to, repeated blinks failing to clear his eyes, and then frowned at his hand, wondering what was tugging at his skin. 

 

Qui-Gon grasped his hand gently and put it back down on the bed. “Mind your IV.” Obi-Wan acquiesced and kept his hand on the bed and looked at Qui-Gon questioningly.

 

“I would like to apologize for keeping the bond from you, I should have informed you as it affects you too,” Qui-Gon said quietly.

 

Obi-Wan looked down at the blanket that was over his legs and started to pick at it. “I appreciate that. I should also apologize. I overreacted a little.” 

 

Qui-Gon smiled at the blush that spread across the younger man’s cheeks at the admission as he continued. “I also wanted to thank you for giving me space today. If what you said was true, you must have felt my distress earlier, and I appreciate the space you gave me.” Obi-Wan glanced back up at Qui-Gon, meeting his eyes. “It is just that sometimes you treat me like a youngling. It’s like you don’t see me as someone who can stand on my own two legs and deal with problems by myself.” 

 

Qui-Gon opened his mouth to protest, but Obi-Wan spoke over him. “I appreciate your help, and your knowledge is invaluable, but sometimes I need to do things by myself and I need you to acknowledge that.” Obi-Wan finished, keeping his gaze locked with Qui-Gon’s.

 

The Master sat in silence for a moment, absorbing everything the younger man had just said. When he spoke his words were measured and hesitant. “I see that I have done you a disservice. I wanted to protect you, but in doing so I am denying you the experience of growing yourself, and for that I am sorry. I do see you as capable of taking care of yourself, In fact I was thinking of petitioning the Council for you to take your trials. I just don’t like leaving you to deal with things alone.” 

 

Obi-Wan gaped. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, looking for words, before he finally spoke, disbelief heavy in his tone. “You really think I am prepared for my trials?”

 

Qui-Gon reached out to grasp Obi-Wan’s hands in his and caught his gaze. “Yes, Obi-Wan, I think you are ready. You are so strong in the Force it astounds me sometimes, and you are wise beyond your years.”

 

Obi-Wan looked away from his Master “I certainly don’t feel like that now. I feel like a crecheling who can hardly grasp the Force.”

 

Qui-Gon took one hand and lifted Obi-Wan’s face so their gaze would meet. “You went through something traumatic. You are coping with something you should never have had to deal with, and the speed with which you are adapting is astounding. You should be proud of yourself.” He spoke with fervor.

 

Obi-Wan was blushing again. Qui-Gon thought he looked quite beautiful with the blood rising in his cheeks, and that thought shocked him. It looked like Master Yoda was right, and he had not meditated enough on his feelings. Obi-Wan spoke, drawing his attention “I … Thank you Master.” He smiled shyly at Qui-Gon. 

 

Just as he finished speaking, Bant came back into the room, interrupting the moment. She walked over to the IV bag. “Well Obi, the IV bag is empty, so you are done here for the day, just don’t forget your supplemental drink has been upped to two a day instead of one.” She took the IV catheter out of his arm and applied a bacta patch to stop the bleeding. She smiled at Obi-Wan as he stood up to leave. “And I’ll see you tomorrow for physics class right?”

 

Obi-Wan nodded in and smiled, and followed his Master out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the long delay, life got in the way. Also, we are looking for a new beta reader! Let us know if you are interested!

 

Obi-wan had gotten used to spending his morning in the little room off of the healer’s ward. As far as rooms went, it wasn’t a bad one. It had windows that looked out over Coruscant so he could see the passing air cars.  Despite his hopes, his nausea had not abated in the last month, and he had continued to lose weight. So on top of the two supplemental drinks he had daily, every third day he would get an IV with the nutrients his body was not getting.He sat curled up on the bed, scrolling through a data reader, reading Master Seva’s Philosophies.Things had been slow at the temple, Garen and Reeft were off world on missions with their masters, and Siri-Tachi had been busy studying for Master Rava’s diplomacy exam. There was a case of Corellian fever going around the temple, so Bant was even busier than normal, which left Obi-Wan with a lot of time to himself. 

He set down the reader as the hiss of the door opening surprised him. His face transformed into a beaming smile as he saw that it was his fellow Padawan Garen Muln coming into the room. “Garen!” Obi-Wan exclaimed joyfully as Garen made his way over to the bed and pulled Obi-Wan into an embrace. “When did you get back?” Obi-Wan asked as Garen pulled back and sat next to him on the bed.

“Just now. I figured the first thing I should do when I got back was to check up on you.” Garen said. “It looks like you aren’t doing much better.” He said, his voice heavy with concern.

Obi-Wan sighed, ever since he had told Garen about his condition, his friend had been following Obi-Wan around everywhere and trying to be there with everything he could possibly need. This was nice in theory, but in practice, it was a little much. He knew Garen was doing it because he was worried, but having him gone this past week had been a little bit of a relief. He had just gotten Qui-Gon to stop with the mother hen act, so having Garen replace him was a little frustrating. “I’m doing as well as I can be. How was your mission?” Obi-Wan asked, trying his best to change the topic of conversation quickly.

“Oh, it was another boring diplomatic mission.” Garen waved the question away.

“You’re just saying that because you didn’t get to fly anything fancy.” Obi-Wan replied, not trying to hide his amused expression.

“Au contraire, I got to fly the temple’s newest shuttle out!’ Garen gushed, his eyes shining with admiration for fine craftsmanship. “You should have been there to try it Obi-Wan, It flew like a dream!”  Garen said throwing his arm around Obi-Wan's shoulder.

“No thanks, I think I will leave the aerial acrobatics up to you.” Obi-Wan said with distaste, shirking out from under Garen’s arm.

“Oh well, your loss Obi.” He paused for a moment, then his face lit up. “I almost forgot! I brought back something for you!” He said brightly, then pulled a small box from his pack. He held it out for Obi-Wan to take.

The box was made of plain wood, that looked like it was carved with care. It had been polished to show off the natural, almost reddish glow of the wood. “It’s beautiful Garen.” Obi-Wan breathed, running his hand over it.

“Well, are you going to open it?” Garen asked impatiently.

Obi-Wan lifted the lid and the sharp smell of mint assaulted his senses.The box held a good portion of loose leaf tea. “You, brought me tea?” Obi-Wan asked confused. Garen knew his caff intake was severely limited so it was an odd gift.

“It’s herbal,” Garen explained “So it has no caff. It’s a blend that is supposed to help with morning sickness. The woman we got it from swears by it, so I thought it might help.” 

“Thank you, Garen, I really appreciate it.” Obi-Wan said sincerely. 

 

* * *

 

The next morning, Obi-Wan woke up to the familiar feeling of being nauseous. He crawled out of bed and made his way to the kitchen to take his morning supplemental drink. As he was preparing it, his eyes landed on the tea Garen had gotten him. He had tried almost everything for his morning sickness, but it wouldn't hurt to try something new. He grabbed a cup from the cupboard and set the kettle on the stove to boil. As he waited for the water to heat he measured out the right amount of tea leaves for one cup. The kettle whistled and Obi-Wan poured the steaming water into the old worn cup. He watched the leaves unfurl in the sudden heat. As they blossomed a strong minty scent assaulted his senses. He closed his eyes and just inhaled it for a minute as the tea finished steeping. 

Obi-Wan picked up the cup, letting the heat radiating from it warm his chilled hands. He brought it to his lips and cautiously drank. He really hoped this would work, because mint was not pleasant coming back up. He waited for the liquid to settle in his stomach before taking another cautious sip. To his surprise, it was staying down, and miraculously, his stomach felt more stable than it had in months. After he finished the tea he downed his supplemental drink and grimaced at the taste. He sat down on the couch waiting to see if everything would come up or not. He read an analysis of the civil war on Aoria. He got to the end of the paper to find that everything was staying down and miracle upon miracles, he was still hungry.

 “Garen, you are officially the best friend ever.” Obi-Wan muttered as he made his way back to the kitchen to fix up something more substantial to eat. As he was sitting down to eat a sandwich Qui-Gon walked into the room. He did a double take, surprised to see Obi-Wan eating a meal so large. “Are you feeling better? You usually don’t eat this much in the morning.” He asked. 

Obi-Wan took a minute to speak as he had just taken a large bite of his sandwich. He swallowed and answered “Thank Garen.” then took another big bite.

Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow “And what has Padawan Muln done to help restore your appetite?”

“He brought a tea that is supposed to remedy morning sickness home from his last mission. It seems to be working.” Obi-Wan announced.

“You have come so far my Padawan. To think you used to deride folk remedies, and now you are using one.” Qui-Gon teased while he started making his own cup of tea. His Master's had plenty of caff in it Obi-Wan noticed.

“My views on the world have recently been widened if you must know.” Obi-Wan confided in jest. After the words came out of his mouth he paused. When had he become comfortable enough with his situation that he was able to joke about it? He wasn’t sure, but he was immensely glad he had gotten to that point.

Qui-Gon looked surprised as well and maybe …  content? Where had he gotten that from? Qui-gon had a neutral expression at the moment. Obi-Wan searched for the source of the feeling and was surprised to find it coming from the bond he had with his master. This was the first time he had felt something noticeable through it. He had to admit he hadn’t tried to actively use the bond in the past, in fact, he hadn’t paid it much mind until now. He examined the bond more closely and found that if he focused, he could feel the steady hum of Qui-Gon’s emotions, as well as the energy that was flowing from his Master into him. “Master, we need to discuss this bond.” Obi-Wan said, abruptly changing the topic. “We never really had a chance to discuss it after I found out about it.”

Qui-Gon took his tea and sat down across from Obi-Wan. He took a long sip, observing Obi-Wan over the brim with a raised eyebrow. The Padawan waited patiently, taking a cue from the feelings of serenity that were passing through the bond. Finally, the master rested his cup on his saucer and leaned back, placing his hands on the table.

“What would you like to know?”

“The energy transfer is it…”

“Dangerous? No.” Qui-Gon paused for a moment, thinking back to his grand master’s words. “At least, according to Yoda, it will only be dangerous in the event one of us is severely injured. In which case the injury will likely take precedence anyway.”

“I see.” Obi-Wan tapped his fingers on the wood of the table. “But where does it come from? Why is it happening?”

“That, Yoda knew not. Only that it was not uncommon in…” Qui-Gon trailed off, swallowing. Obi-Wan frowned focusing again on the odd bond between them. The serenity had vanished, replaced by anxiety that left Obi-Wan jittery and wanting to pace. His Master appeared to be staring at the table, deep in thought and unsure of what to say.

“Master?” The question brought the nervous brown gaze back to Obi-Wan’s, but no words came forth. “Qui-Gon?”

The use of his first name startled Qui-Gon enough to break him from his reverie, and he took a deep breath. “It is a life bond, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan blinked and then blinked again. There was an odd rushing sound in his ears, and he laughed, only slightly hysterical. “But that’s...those are just old fairy tales we tell younglings in the creche.” Was he breathing correctly? Something didn’t seem quite right.

“Apparently not,” replied Qui-Gon as he rose, moving around the table in concern. “Deep breaths, Padawan. In for four, out for four. I must confess, I barely remembered those tales until Tahl mentioned the word.”

Obi-Wan struggled to follow Qui-Gon’s instructions, but the counting helped and slowly the tightness in his chest eased. Qui-gon’s hand rested on his back, soothing and warm. It was a long time before he spoke again.

“Master, how did this happen?” Obi-Wan was floundering. Why was this his life?

“I have theories. When we rescued you, on Ryloth...when we removed the force inhibitor you were so overwhelmed, you tried to move through the bond to my mind.” Qui-Gon admitted. He was quick to continue, perhaps due he horrified look Obi-Wan could feel growing on his face. “It was then that the bond changed. I don’t blame you, Padawan, you were hurting and afraid, and seeking the warmth of one you trusted. It is in fact, incredibly humbling to have experienced such a thing.”

Obi-Wan distinctly received the impression that there was something else to be said, but his master was nowhere near ready to say it. 

“But Master, I…”

“None of that, Padawan,” Qui-Gon ordered, kneeling next to Obi-Wan’s chair. “You didn’t force this bond to happen, nor did you force yourself on me. Yoda assures me they cannot happen if both parties are not accepting. And I am absolutely certain you would have allowed the same were our roles reversed.”

It only took Obi-Wan a moment of thought to recognize that there was little he would deny Qui-Gon Jinn, and especially not something like that. He leaned forward to embrace his master, allowing himself to be pulled off the chair and settled on the floor. Warm in his Master’s arms, Obi-wan found himself more relaxed and content than he had been in weeks, at ease with the bond, anxiety fading to trust and care. He could feel Qui-Gon smiling against his shoulder, and he couldn’t help but do so as well, even as he drifted off, thoughts that he could get used to this lingering between them.

 

* * *

 

“The Rishi are considering breaking their peace treaty with their moon. We want you to go and act the diplomat.” Qui-Gon didn’t comprehend Mace’s words for a minute, and when he did he was shocked.

“Surely there is someone else who can go in my place.” He reasoned. He stood calmly with his hands folded into his robes, his face showed none of the tumultuous emotions he was experiencing.

“For you, they specifically asked. With someone they don’t know, do business they will not.” Yoda said gravely. Qui-Gon could see he was not happy with the situation either but saw no way around it.

“We are doing everything we can to make this happen as quickly as possible. We know right now is not an ideal time for you to leave, but a Jedi is bound by his duties.” Micah said.

Qui-Gon’s brow furrowed. He didn’t like the idea of leaving Obi-Wan by himself at the temple, but he knew the matter at hand was urgent. Before he could even ask Adi-Gallia spoke. “I would be happy to watch over Obi-Wan. I’m sure Siri would enjoy spending time with him.”   
  


After a moment of contemplation, he nodded. "I will do as you wish." He hated to go, but as  Jedi Knight he had to put his duties first.

* * *

 

Obi-Wan could feel his master’s disquiet through the bond before he even entered the room. He didn’t know what had caused the sudden shift in Qui-Gon’s emotions, but he would bet _____ that it had something to do with the summons the council had sent. Obi-Wan got up and started a pot of Sapir tea to soothe his master’s ruffled feathers. Just as the kettle wailed, signaling that it was ready for the tea, Qui-Gon strode into the room, his posture so stiff it looked like it must hurt.

“Master, why don’t you take a seat. I’ve made some tea for you.” 

Qui-Gon looked like he was going to argue, but Obi-Wan sent a pleading look his Master’s way. Qui-Gon was usually quiet resistant to Obi-Wan’s looks, but he had found that in his current condition, he could get away with quite literally anything. His master made his way over to the sofa and sat down. If it was possible he looked like he was holding himself even stiffer than when he was standing. Obi-Wan frowned and poured a cup of Sapir for Qui-Gon and a cup of the tea Garen had brought home for himself. He carefully balanced the two cups as he brought them over to the table and set his Master’s cup in front of him. He sat next to him and took a sip of his own tea before setting it down. He looked over at his master and all his muscles were taught. He sighed and attempted to send calming waves through the bond. 

Qui-Gon noticed the attempt and smiled tiredly at his Padawan. “I’m sorry Obi-Wan, I didn’t mean to push my worries on you, the Council has just made a decision I disagree with.” He held the cup between his hands, letting the warmth ease some of the tightness from his body.

Obi-Wan let out a huff of amusement. “And this is different from usual how?” He asked fixing his master with a mischievous look.

Qui-Gon set his cup down deliberately on the table. The sound of the ceramic hitting the wood rang through the room as he tried to find the words to tell Obi-Wan what was going on. “The Council is sending me on a mission to Rishi.” He said haltingly.

Obi-Wan felt his stomach sink a little, but quickly sent a smile Qui-Gon’s way hoping he wouldn't notice. “Without me, I would assume.”

Qui-Gon inclined his head in acknowledgment. “The Rishi asked for me specifically. The Council is doing everything they can to make this mission as short as possible.” Qui-Gon turned towards his Padawan and laid his hand over Obi-Wan’s. ” But we are Jedi Obi-Wan and we are bound to our duties.”

Obi-Wan bowed his head for a moment and mustered all the cheer he could. Hen he lifted his head his face he was smiling. “Of course Master, I understand.”

“Thank you, Obi-Wan. Master Gallia offered to keep an eye on you for me. She and Siri Tachi will see to your needs and accompany you to the healers as necessary.”

Obi-Wan frowned but nodded. He didn’t know master Gallia very well, but Siri had been surprisingly supportive since his confession to her. Siri regularly escorted him to the Healers in the morning or accompanied him to the commissary for midday meal. They didn’t always talk, but for Obi-Wan, it was a nice change from the oft confrontational rival Siri once was.

“If I must, master, I will stay with Siri and Master Gallia.” Obi-Wan finally replied, when he noticed Qui-Gon frowning in concern. 

“I’m sure it won’t be that bad, my Padawan.” 

“Perhaps not, but I’d still rather spend that time with you.” Obi-Wan admitted, ducking his head to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.

“Me too,” Qui-Gon agreed as he pulled Obi-Wan into a hug. “Me too.”

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan had been a bundle of nerves all day leading up to the meditation class he was going to teach in the Dragon clan, but it turned out his worry was for nothing. He was half way through the lesson and everything was going smoothly. The younglings sat in rows, their legs folded into the lotus position, their breath whooshing in and out in time with the training music. Obi-Wan had not felt this relaxed since this whole debacle had begun. And for the first time since the suppression collar was removed, he really felt the force, not exactly with ease, but without the help of a Master there to guide him. He opened his eyes and let his gaze take in the students.  Their bodies were relaxed, immersed in the music and force as they were.  A small huff of frustration rang through the room and drew his eyes towards it. The source of it was Morrine, the young lightsaber prodigy, her face was contorted in obvious frustration, her body tense. Obi-Wan smiled in amusement, it seemed she wasn’t a natural at everything. He made his way over to her and crouched down. Morrine opened her eyes at the noise.“Having some trouble Morrine?” Obi-Wan asked quietly.

She flushed with embarrassment as she softly responded “Yes. I Can’t seem to grasp the force.” Her hands clenched in her tunic.

Obi-Wan looked around the room making sure everyone was still immersed in meditation, then sat down next to Morrine. “Everyone has trouble connecting with the Force sometimes Morrine.”

Morrine’s eyes widened at that. “Really? I thought only babies couldn't connect with the force.”

“When you are agitated, or in heightened emotional states it can be much harder to connect to the force to let those emotions go.” Obi-Wan told him, repeating something that had been told to him by his Creche Master when he was a youngling. “Did anything happen to upset you today?” He asked.

Morrine’s face turned sour. “No.” she stubbornly replied.

“If you talk about what happened, it will help you process it and in turn help you let go of those feelings.” And Oh, both Qui-Gon and Healer Bailaiea would be overjoyed to hear him say that, knowing that their lessons had gotten through his thick skull. Morrine’s expression melted from stubborn defiance to reluctant.

“I couldn’t perform the Flowing waters Kata correctly in saber practice today.” She admitted hesitantly. As she spoke her hand pressed against her ankle, drawing Obi-Wan’s attention to it. The area was bulky, almost as if it were bandaged.

“Did you do something to your ankle?” Obi-Wan asked.

“The Saber practice before last I sprained it.” She admitted.

“It stands to reason that you could not perform up to your usual standards if you are injured doesn't it?” Obi-Wan said calmly.

“It should be better by now.” Morrine said, her cheeks reddening with her frustration.

“You can’t force healing Morrine, it happens at its own pace, and if you push yourself too hard you will just end up setting yourself back.” Morrine still looked conflicted so Obi-Wan added: “It’s okay to take your time to get better.” And it hit Obi-Wan like duracrete. This was what Healer Bailaiea and Healer Lyonova had been trying to get him to understand. His Master would be highly amused to know that it took him telling someone else this for him to finally accept it. He watched Morrine for a few moments and when her body relaxed a bit he spoke again. “Now try meditating and releasing your emotions to the force.” 

She closed her eyes and after a few moments, her whole posture relaxed like a puppet with its strings cut. Obi-Wan smiled at her accomplishment, It seems that this endeavor was a success on multiple levels.

 

 

* * *

 

Adi Gallia awoke to the sound of coughing from the main room of her quarters. A quick mental check told her it was not her own Padawan, and when she rose and cracked open her bedroom door, she found Siri peering out from her own room, frowning. Adi stepped from her room and was quietly followed to the couch where Obi-Wan Kenobi laid, covers in disarray and sleep obviously disturbed. Odd, for someone whom until this point had been a perfect house guest. 

“He was sneezing all afternoon,” Siri whispered. “Insisted it was just allergies.”

“He is extremely congested for allergies,” Adi observed. “Bring pillows while I rouse him.”

Obi-Wan was groggy when awoken, voice harsh and breath loud as he inhaled and exhaled via his mouth, nose too clogged for use. “Is something the matter, Master?”

“You, Obi-Wan. You don’t sound well.” Adi informed him as Siri returned with pillows from their small linen closet, turning on the lights as she approached. “I’m afraid you may have caught the virus that’s been going through the creche recently.”

“It didn’t feel like a virus earlier.” Obi-Wan defended before he lifted his arm to cough into it. His shoulders slumped when the hacking subsided, and Adi couldn’t help but feel a bit sorry for the clearly miserable Padawan. His luck had been awful recently.

“Lean forward, Siri’s brought some pillows to prop you up.” She instructed and together she and Siri rearranged Obi-Wan’s pillows until he was reasonably comfortable. 

“I won’t make you go to the wards, but I am going to ask Healer Lyonova to stop by in the morning. If he says you need to go, you will.”Adi informed the ailing Padawan, all while mentally cursing the council for agreeing to send Qui-Gon to Rishi, aware Lyonova would say the stress was likely not helping Obi-Wan’s immune system.

“Try to get some sleep.” Adi instructed, deactivating the lights with a wave.

“Good night, Obi-Nobi.” whispered Siri’s voice, echoed by the soft click of her door.

 

* * *

 

Obi-Wan did not sleep well if he slept at all. He couldn’t breathe through his nose, his throat was sore and cough hacking, and his entire body ached and alternated wildly between too hot and chilled to the core. He could no longer deny he was sick, and the frown on Lyonova’s face confirmed it.

“I’d say Master Gallia is right, it certainly seems like the virus in the creche.” He lifted his hand from Obi-Wan’s forehead and the Padawan sighed in relief, his body currently cold enough without Lyonova’s cold hands touching. Why were healer’s hands always freezing anyway?

“Unfortunately this will mean no meditation class today.” Lyonova continued. “I’d like you to spend the day resting, and if there’s no improvement by your regular appointment tomorrow morning, we’ll see about interfering. Normally we’d let your immune system fight it off, but yours is so stressed from your current condition I don’t want to wait long if it appears it’s not fighting correctly.”

“Yes, master.” Obi-Wan agreed, subdued. His condition - just something that continued to grow in complications. He hoped Qui-Gon would return quickly, the baby had seemed much more simple with him there.   
  


* * *

 

Adi Gallia frowned as she entered her quarters to dimmed lights and the sounds of a bad holonovella coming from Siri’s holovid player. The Padawan in question peaked over the back of the couch to the master, finger held to her lips in a request for silence. Adi sighed but nodded, knowing it meant the Padawan Kenobi was likely finally asleep, his respiratory infection taking a toll after a night kept awake coughing. And then Adi promptly flinched as her booted foot crunched a piece of popped quinto.

Siri had the sensibility to wince, mouthing “sorry!” over the couch back.

‘Clean later, Padawan.’ the master sent via their training bond, and knew Siri heard when she nodded furiously before turning back to the holonovella. Adi moved to the kitchenette, and began searching the cupboards for ingredients for soup. From this vantage point she had a clear view of the couch; poor Kenobi asleep with his head on Siri’s lap and her Padawan’s cloak thrown over his still form. Even in the dim lighting he looked pale and feverish. Adi suspected if there was no improvement before Obi-Wan’s morning appointment, he wouldn’t be leaving the healers until there was. Sighing, she returned her attention to the cupboards and soup that would soothe Obi-Wan’s cough.

The holonovella finished at roughly the same time Adi’s soup finished heating on the stove, and Siri gently shook Obi-Wan awake at her Master’s gesture. The poor padawan in question blinked blearily in confusion at the unfamiliar quarters before Adi saw awareness trickle into his eyes. It was not a good sign. She helped the boy sit up, freeing Siri, and together they escorted him to the small dining table in the kitchenette. 

“Thank you, Master Gallia.” Obi-Wan rasped as he was served a bowl of the soup. He drank carefully, but Adi was relieved to see his shoulders lose some of their tension as the warm broth soothed his sore throat. Siri looked as though she approved as well, and together they drank their own bowls.

Dinner was a quiet affair, disturbed only by Obi-Wan’s sporadic coughing. By the time they were done, he looked about ready to fall asleep at the table, cheeks still flushed with fever. Leaving Siri to clear the table and wash the dishes, as well as pick up the popped quinto from earlier, Adi headed to the fresher to run a hot shower, making sure the room was steam filled before going to get Obi-Wan. 

“Come Padawan, into a shower and then you can go to bed.” Adi negotiated, carefully prying him out of his blanket cocoon on the couch where he had settled after eating.

“Do I have to?” Obi-Wan groused, blinking owlishly at her, even as he unfolded from his place and teetered to his feet. 

“Hopefully, the steam will help clear your sinuses a bit so you sleep better. I’m told simply being freshly washed can help as well.”

“Okay.” Obi-Wan acquiesced, Adi followed the unsteady Padawan to the fresher door.

“There are fresh pajamas and a towel on the counter.” If I hear any loud bangs or you aren’t out in 15 minutes I’ll send Siri in with a rescue team.

Obi-Wan paused as he turned to close the fresher door, offering her a bashful smile. “Please don’t.”

By the time Obi-Wan emerged fourteen minutes later, looking somewhat refreshed and breathing noticeably better, Adi had remade the couch bed and prepared the stack of pillows to keep Obi-Wan semi-upright. He climbed under the blanket and allowed Adi to tuck him in.

“Feeling any better?”

“A little bit.” Obi-Wan admitted. “Thanks.”

“Good.” Adi said, stepping aside to let Siri set up a portable table next to the couch bed and moving off to stand in the door to her own bedroom, watching her Padawan interact with the sick one.

“There’s water here and tissues if you need them, and crackers in case your stomach gets unsettled.” Siri was explaining, gesturing to the various items on the small table.

“Thanks, Siri.”

“Just sleep better, okay?” She replied, and then leaned down to kiss her friend on the forehead. Adi smiled at the pair as Siri waved the lights off, and a moment later each slipped into their own bedrooms, hoping tomorrow would bring better health.

* * *

 

IIs something the matter Knight Jinn?” Asked diplomat Katar, as Qui-Gon checked his comm for the umpteenth time that night.

“Everything is fine, I am just awaiting an update from the council.” Qui-Gon assured her. The Knight silently cursed himself for not having his mind on the mission. But it was hard to give his full attention to it when he knew Obi-Wan was sick. He had received the message a day previous, and neither Healer Lyonova or Master Galia had sent him an update since. He closed his eyes for a moment and released his feelings to the force. The negotiations were almost concluded, all that was left was for them to sign the new treaty. But he knew from experience that situations like these could turn sour at a moment's notice. He needed his full attention on the here and now. He slid his comlink into his pouch and turned his attention to the Woman Beside him. 

“It is fortunate that you were here to help us in this matter. I am sure we would not have agreed to terms so quickly if not for your presence.” Tej Katar said, while calmly cutting away at her meat.

Qui-Gon inclined his head in gratitude. “You flatter me, Diplomat Rath and yourself handled most of the terms, I just helped smooth things along.”

The rest of dinner passed uneventfully. The conversations focusing on trivialities, everyone tired of the serious discussions they had had to hammer out the treaty in the previous days. After what seemed like an eternity the final course was finished and the sound of chairs scraping as people stood up signaled that the delegation was finally ready to move on to the final event, the signing of the treaty. Qui-Gon felt his comlink buzz in his pouch, but ignored it in favor of finishing this force damned mission. He followed the delegation down the hall in a procession that seemed to move at a snail’s pace. They stopped in front of humongous oak doors decorated with detailed carvings of different moments from Rishi’s history. The doors swung open soundlessly, to reveal a large ornate room. They all gathered around a large desk, and one by one they signed the document. Qui-Gon left as soon as was diplomatically acceptable, waiting till he was alone in his quarters to look at the message on his comm. He felt his heart drop to his stomach at what he saw. The screen read “Obi-Wan is in the Healer’s ward with a high fever. Call A.S.A.P.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Come play with me on tumblr http://dr-fumbles-mcstupid.tumblr.com/ If you have suggestions for scenes for the story, or just want to chat My ask box is always open.


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